This week, I’m giving away THREE copies of Heather Kopp’s new book, Sober Mercies. Heather is an author, editor and blogger. Among her books are a critically acclaimed memoir, I Went to the Animal Fair and The Dieter’s Prayer Book. Heather blogs about addiction, grace, and recovery at HeatherKopp.com. She and her husband, David, have five grown children, and live in Colorado.
I recently had the chance to ask Heather a few questions about her new book:
Margaret: For readers who aren’t familiar with the book, what is the main idea?
Heather Kopp: How Love Caught Up With a Christian Drunk is first of all a memoir. Some of my favorite responses to the book have come from readers who aren’t alcoholics or addicts, but got caught up in the story.
The book chronicles how I spiraled into alcoholism and for twelve long years hid the real extent of my drinking from my husband and the world. In stunning display of hypocrisy, I wrote and edited Christian books by day and drank myself to oblivion every night.
Because I viewed alcoholism as a sin issue only, I did what I thought good Christians do. I prayed and repented until I was blue in the face. When that didn’t work, I begged God for a private deliverance—one that would spare my pride and his reputation (or so I thought).
When God failed to provide the miracle I wanted, I grew cynical and confused. Didn’t God love me enough to heal me? Didn’t I love him enough to stop? Meanwhile, to even admit that I was addicted felt like a betrayal of Christ’s work on the cross.
Finally, one ordinary morning in March, 2007, I experienced a spiritual breakthrough. Sobbing by my bed, I surrendered my pride and became willing to reach for help—which of course was the real miracle, and probably the one God was waiting for.
Through treatment, followed by a program of recovery, I began to slowly pick up the broken pieces of my life, marriage, and faith. None of this came easily, but the struggle launched me on a surprising spiritual journey that continues to this day.
Margaret: What has been the greatest encouragement in your writing experience?
Heather: Writing Sober Mercies was extremely difficult. Not so much because of the subject matter, but because memoir is such a challenging genre. Plus, I had to balance my need to tell the story with other people’s need for privacy.
At first, my husband Dave had some hesitations about sharing our dirty laundry, including ugly marital rows. He also wasn’t fond of his role as the duped, seemingly clueless husband.
But to his credit, Dave quickly set his qualms aside. Partly because he often attends meetings with me, he’s a big fan of recovery and he believes strongly in the book’s message. Recently, he wrote a very honest guest post for me about his perspective on our journey.
Margaret: Who, specifically, would benefit from the book?
Heather: The obvious list would include people already in recovery, those who know or love someone who battles addiction, and those who have a problem and are looking for hope.
But honestly, I think the book speaks to anyone who has ever kept a secret, struggled to get honest, wrestled with shame and guilt, longed for real community, or wished they had a more authentic connection to God.
Another important thread in the book has to do with my grown son’s battle with drugs and alcohol. He graciously allowed me to share the parts of his story that overlap with mine. Parents who have kids in trouble will resonate and hopefully gain insights.
Margaret: What do you hope will happen in the reader’s heart and mind after they finish with your book?
Heather: I hope that readers feel like they’ve stepped inside another person’s story in ways that illumine their own. I hope they come away with a new hunger to experience more of God’s grace and become channels of that grace in the world.
Obviously, one of my goals was to provide valuable insights about alcoholism and addiction. But more importantly, I wanted to demonstrate the joys to be found in recovery. I’m hoping people who might otherwise be reluctant to reach for help will decide to give it an honest try.
Since this book is at heart a spiritual memoir, I’d love to know that it helped some Christians in their faith, especially with regard to change and growth. If they feel stuck in a rut or unable to escape certain patterns of behavior, I hope they arrive at a conclusion similar to mine:
“If I was ever going to experience the kind of ongoing spiritual transformation that I so desperately wanted, I would have to learn the difference between ascribing to a set of Christian beliefs that had no power to change me, and clinging daily to an experience of God’s love and grace that could.” (from page 145).
I’m still learning how to do that.
Check out this clip with Heather:
(RSS subscribers, click here to view.)
To win one of the THREE COPIES of Sober Mercies, enter a comment on the original blog post at MargaretFeinberg.com. Winners will be selected and announced on Friday.
Congratulations to the winners: Tara Lantieri, Lucy, Chantel M.
What words of encouragement do you have for someone wrestling with addiction or struggling to find hope in difficult situations?
