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How to Handle Addiction as a Christian (An Interview with @HeatherLKopp)

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Giveaway: Win a copy of Sober Mercies by @SoberBoots @JerichoBooks

This week, I’m giving away THREE copies of Heather Kopp’s new book, Sober Mercies. Heather is an author, editor and blogger. Among her books are a critically acclaimed memoir, I Went to the Animal Fair and The Dieter’s Prayer Book. Heather blogs about addiction, grace, and recovery at HeatherKopp.com. She and her husband, David, have five grown children, and live in Colorado.

I recently had the chance to ask Heather a few questions about her new book:

Margaret: For readers who aren’t familiar with the book, what is the main idea?

Heather Kopp: How Love Caught Up With a Christian Drunk is first of all a memoir. Some of my favorite responses to the book have come from readers who aren’t alcoholics or addicts, but got caught up in the story. 

The book chronicles how I spiraled into alcoholism and for twelve long years hid the real extent of my drinking from my husband and the world. In stunning display of hypocrisy, I wrote and edited Christian books by day and drank myself to oblivion every night.

Because I viewed alcoholism as a sin issue only, I did what I thought good Christians do. I prayed and repented until I was blue in the face. When that didn’t work, I begged God for a private deliverance—one that would spare my pride and his reputation (or so I thought).

When God failed to provide the miracle I wanted, I grew cynical and confused. Didn’t God love me enough to heal me? Didn’t I love him enough to stop? Meanwhile, to even admit that I was addicted felt like a betrayal of Christ’s work on the cross.

Finally, one ordinary morning in March, 2007, I experienced a spiritual breakthrough. Sobbing by my bed, I surrendered my pride and became willing to reach for help—which of course was the real miracle, and probably the one God was waiting for.

Through treatment, followed by a program of recovery, I began to slowly pick up the broken pieces of my life, marriage, and faith. None of this came easily, but the struggle launched me on a surprising spiritual journey that continues to this day.

Margaret: What has been the greatest encouragement in your writing experience?

Heather: Writing Sober Mercies was extremely difficult. Not so much because of the subject matter, but because memoir is such a challenging genre. Plus, I had to balance my need to tell the story with other people’s need for privacy.

At first, my husband Dave had some hesitations about sharing our dirty laundry, including ugly marital rows. He also wasn’t fond of his role as the duped, seemingly clueless husband.

But to his credit, Dave quickly set his qualms aside. Partly because he often attends meetings with me, he’s a big fan of recovery and he believes strongly in the book’s message. Recently, he wrote a very honest guest post for me about his perspective on our journey. 

Margaret: Who, specifically, would benefit from the book?

Heather: The obvious list would include people already in recovery, those who know or love someone who battles addiction, and those who have a problem and are looking for hope.

But honestly, I think the book speaks to anyone who has ever kept a secret, struggled to get honest, wrestled with shame and guilt, longed for real community, or wished they had a more authentic connection to God.

Another important thread in the book has to do with my grown son’s battle with drugs and alcohol. He graciously allowed me to share the parts of his story that overlap with mine. Parents who have kids in trouble will resonate and hopefully gain insights.

Margaret: What do you hope will happen in the reader’s heart and mind after they finish with your book?

Heather: I hope that readers feel like they’ve stepped inside another person’s story in ways that illumine their own. I hope they come away with a new hunger to experience more of God’s grace and become channels of that grace in the world.

Obviously, one of my goals was to provide valuable insights about alcoholism and addiction. But more importantly, I wanted to demonstrate the joys to be found in recovery. I’m hoping people who might otherwise be reluctant to reach for help will decide to give it an honest try.

Since this book is at heart a spiritual memoir, I’d love to know that it helped some Christians in their faith, especially with regard to change and growth. If they feel stuck in a rut or unable to escape certain patterns of behavior, I hope they arrive at a conclusion similar to mine:

Giveaway: Win a Copy of Sober Mercies (Plus an Interview with @HeatherLKopp) @JerichoBooks

“If I was ever going to experience the kind of ongoing spiritual transformation that I so desperately wanted, I would have to learn the difference between ascribing to a set of Christian beliefs that had no power to change me, and clinging daily to an experience of God’s love and grace that could.” (from page 145).

I’m still learning how to do that.

Check out this clip with Heather:

(RSS subscribers, click here to view.)

To win one of the THREE COPIES of Sober Mercies, enter a comment on the original blog post at MargaretFeinberg.com. Winners will be selected and announced on Friday.

Congratulations to the winners: Tara Lantieri, Lucy, Chantel M.

What words of encouragement do you have for someone wrestling with addiction or struggling to find hope in difficult situations?

89 Comments

  1. Janet
    Janet on July 6, 2013 at 4:47 am

    I would like to read this book so thank you for the giveaway.

    Advice I do not have although I do believe God is bigger than anything we face including addiction.

  2. Beth
    Beth on July 6, 2013 at 5:22 am

    This book sounds like just what I need at this time. My husband is an alcoholic and now must 21 year old is beginning the battle. I desperately need encouragement and am thankful that Heather is willing to share her story.

  3. Kari
    Kari on July 6, 2013 at 6:00 am

    Sounds like a great book! I’ve been in recovery for my own addiction. It is so true that we must get rid of pride to truly gain freedom.

  4. Tammy Whitney
    Tammy Whitney on July 6, 2013 at 6:27 am

    I currently work with men and women in recovery through The Salvation Army’s Harbor Light Program. I would love to read this book and be able to share it with my friends at The Harbor Light.

    Thank you for offering this give away!

  5. Tara Lantieri
    Tara Lantieri on July 6, 2013 at 6:44 am

    Sounds like an awesome read for those of us who might lean toward being “judgy” about certain struggles…

  6. Dee
    Dee on July 6, 2013 at 7:10 am

    This sounds like an excellent book! As a minister I deal with people all the time who struggle with “secret” sin. This looks like a great resource to help me understand how better to minister to them.

  7. Amy
    Amy on July 6, 2013 at 7:52 am

    This would be a great resource for some research I’m doing right now. With God’s help there is always hope.

  8. Debbie Stansell
    Debbie Stansell on July 6, 2013 at 7:55 am

    I would like to read this book myself, but I know someone that I think would really benefit from it.

  9. Brenda Espy
    Brenda Espy on July 6, 2013 at 8:37 am

    Struggling here in TN. I would love to read this book.

  10. Ronda
    Ronda on July 6, 2013 at 8:52 am

    I grew up with several relatives who were alcoholics, thus my inner vow to never become one, and I’ve kept that vow… I became a foodaholic instead. Planning to read this whether I win it or not (tho I’d love to win…wink…wink) as honest memoirs bring so much encouragement and hope. Might even spur me to be honest enough to write my own. The battle with food rages on, although I’m winning more skirmishes. Looking forward to reading this.

  11. Carolyn
    Carolyn on July 6, 2013 at 9:23 am

    Sounds like an interesting read. I have dear friend whose daughter is caught up in alcoholism and is desperate for insight

  12. Elisa Gray
    Elisa Gray on July 6, 2013 at 9:56 am

    I have a very dear friend who is struggling with addiction. Right now she’s ignoring me, probably because the thought of me makes her feel guilty. But she will show up again, and I would love to have something to give her that might make the difference.

  13. Becky H
    Becky H on July 6, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Wow! This is kind of my story! Only the grace of God & His power freed me after I tried everything else on my own. The willingness to be humble & surrender is huge. I need to read your story & share it with others as I share mine as well. Bless you!

  14. Helen Washington
    Helen Washington on July 6, 2013 at 11:19 am

    This morning I read because of the spirit of adoption we have been given,
    we now do not have to be in bondage to the spirit of fear again.
    It struck me today that this offer is for once and for all. But often I live in the space of
    starting over again.
    Whether it is a substance or something else, we do need to cling to the One who can deliver us once and for always.

    I have heard great things about this book.
    Great giveaway.

  15. Lori Fournier
    Lori Fournier on July 6, 2013 at 11:21 am

    I have just recently signed up for your daily newsletter after my Ladies Summer Bible Study purchased and have just started your study on the book of John. I have already forwarded your newsletter on to my two daughters who are in University. They are being blessed by the articles.

    I would LOVE to read this book as we have a history of alcoholism and addiction issues in our family. This is such a heartbreaking struggle for so many people around us – yes even Christian people – and I am so encouraged to see these topics being brought to light for discussion and instruction on how to deal with this in our lives.

    Thank you, Margaret, for bringing these books and articles to our attention ! God bless you !

  16. Helen Wilson
    Helen Wilson on July 6, 2013 at 11:24 am

    I will be entering Graduate School this fall in pursuit of a Master’s degree in Community Counseling at Louisiana State University. I am looking forward to reading this book and the Biblical Worldview that supports it. Thank you, Heather, for sharing your story.

  17. Malory H
    Malory H on July 6, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Sounds interesting and would like to read it 🙂

  18. Kim Colenzo
    Kim Colenzo on July 6, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Would love to share this book with family! Thanks for the opportunity.

  19. Chantal M
    Chantal M on July 6, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I along with my parents struggle with alcohol addiction and other issues and I would LOVE to read this book. Both as a good read, and as a sign of hope.

  20. Wendy
    Wendy on July 6, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Thank you for this great offer! Coming from a family of strong Christians who privately (and sometimes not so privately) struggled with addictions, I think this book would be a comforting and encouraging read. Thank you again!

    In Christ’s love,
    Wendy

  21. Julia Bishop
    Julia Bishop on July 6, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Would love to read of God’s great mercy dealing with addiction. Thank you!

  22. Becky
    Becky on July 6, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Would love to read !!!

  23. Pam Manners
    Pam Manners on July 6, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    I’ve struggled with addictions much of my life. When I became a Christian, I thought my battles with them would end. And when they didn’t, I felt angry, confused, ashamed, scared. Some friends from Facebook have been sharing posts from Heather Kopp’s blog, ‘Sober Boots’ and I began reading many of them on my own. She’s an encouragement and an inspiration to me because she is so very REAL. Painfully so. I’ve read an excerpt from her book, ‘Sober Mercies,’ and I would love to read the entire book.

  24. Karen Nichols
    Karen Nichols on July 6, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    I am humbled by a friends journey with recovery. She is my inspiration, she is my teacher.
    She told me the words that resonate and are worth sharing. “God will waste NOTHING about your story.” This is true in my own life. He will reveal, revive, renew, restore.

  25. Emily Currid
    Emily Currid on July 6, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    A few words of encouragement for those struggling to find hope – take life one day at a time; you are not your past; believe in the power of God’s healing touch.
    Looking forward to reading Sober Mercies!

  26. Karen Schroer
    Karen Schroer on July 6, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    I would love to read this book. I was a heavy drinker until I ran smack dab into Jesus’ arms. I have friends who run a rescue mission and am thinking this book might be just the thing for some of the female residents to read?

  27. Linda
    Linda on July 7, 2013 at 6:06 am

    Sounds like a fascinating and very insightful read. We all have secrets ( of one kind or another) and sadly see family members who struggle with their own…….this looks like a great encouragement, thanks for the chance to win 🙂

  28. pam
    pam on July 7, 2013 at 7:37 am

    Oh, the victories our enemy announces as he holds our fear and struggles in the darkness. Oh, the victories our Savior Redeemer claims as we step into the light! Oh, the courage we find in the words of those willing to share their stories. Thankful for Heather Kopp…….

  29. Elaine
    Elaine on July 7, 2013 at 8:44 am

    Thank you for the great interview and offer, Margaret. I’ve read Heather’s blog from time to time and look forward to her book.

  30. pam f
    pam f on July 7, 2013 at 10:38 am

    I would love to win a copy of this book. I have had to deal a lot with addictions among family and friends. Ty
    Pam

  31. Christie
    Christie on July 7, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    My words of encouragement would be just to let them know I am there for them if they need someone to talk to or be with them. While I may not understand addiction, I’ve seen many people go through it and I’d rather be there for them than not.

  32. Sandra
    Sandra on July 7, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Sounds like a good book to help me understand my daughter-in-law and to perhaps share the book with her. Thanks Margaret for always offering to give away items which help others.

  33. Lucy
    Lucy on July 7, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    I am so glad to see someone write about being a Christian drunk! Many in the church would judge that a person cannot be both a Christian and an alcoholic. I myself have struggled and see my oldest son struggling now. I cling daily to the God who alone has the power to change me…and He does love me and extend His grace when others do not. I am seeking to treat others that same way!

  34. Pam Duey
    Pam Duey on July 7, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    This book looks fantastic! And I loved the video clip! It is so easy to believe the lie that we’re all alone in our struggles – no one else has gone through it- no one else is as messed up as we are- and this makes us isolate. It is really scarry to ask for help- to expose our inner selves – to be vulnerable. But the truth is, that’s where the healing is. James 5:16 reads, ” Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed” . We’re already forgiven, but this is about real healing. It’s in the “one-anothering” with safe people who have been through the same things, who know what we’re going through, who love and accept us despite all that, that healing comes. And that’s when God’s love and grace moves from just in our head, where we know it, to our heart, where we actually EXPERIENCE and FEEL it. My husband and I have been through our own recovery journeys for over 20 years, and we’re involved in Celebrate Recovery ministry at our church. We are SO thankful, and God has wonderfully transformed our lives and our marriage~

  35. Mary Ellen
    Mary Ellen on July 9, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    Sounds like a wonderful, open and honest book. Would love to read it. Thanks for the give-away! Blessings!

  36. Karla Meachem
    Karla Meachem on July 9, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Wow! Can’t wait to read this one and to check out her website!

  37. Danielle G
    Danielle G on July 9, 2013 at 3:59 pm

    You don’t have to be “strong enough”, you were never meant to go through hardships alone. I have been alcohol free for 4 1/2 years and it’s only because I surrendered to the fact that I did not have the strength in myself to fix it and that that’s ok. There is no shame in needing help from God or anyone else. Only good can come from reaching outside of yourself and accepting the help that is there waiting for you.

  38. clara from grand falls windsor nfld
    clara from grand falls windsor nfld on December 1, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    i would love to win one of those books.god bless. my address is 3.centennial avenue .grand falls windsor nfld.a2b1g7.thank you very much.

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