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When You Ask: “Why Are There So Many Unintended Consequences?”

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Why Are There So Many Unintended Consequences?

One thing I’ve been discovering lately is the role of unintended consequences in my own life.

Leif and I talk about this often.

He tends to look at people and think that if someone makes a decision, then it’s their responsibility to live with the consequences. While I think there’s some real truth in that idea, I also see many people who, if they knew the full breadth of the consequences, they would have made a different decision.

These are the unintended consequences of our decisions—and they happen in my life and to everyone I know.

I have to make dozens of decisions everyday and while I can predict a percentage of the outcomes with certainty, the reality is there are all kinds of outcomes that are simply unintended.

Some good. Some bad.

A while back, I realized that I desperately needed a prescription filled twenty minutes before the pharmacy closed.

Since the drive took about that long, I knew I didn’t have a minute to spare. I raced to the pharmacy and called in the refill on the way. Pulling into a spot, I foolishly miscalculated the distance between my vehicle and the one next to me and dented the bumper. Afraid to move the vehicle and cause greater damage, I jumped out and ran to the pharmacy—the much needed prescription still on my mind. After paying for the prescription, I hustled back outside where I discovered a less-than-happy driver of the other vehicle examining the damage.

I explained the situation, begged for her forgiveness, and promised to pay all damages. The middle-aged woman was slightly aghast at what had happened and for good reason:

She had just purchased the vehicle, her first brand new car, the day before.

I could not grovel enough.

When the repair bill arrived, I quickly delivered the check and a copy of my latest book to her with a sincere letter of apology.

To my surprise, I received a thank you note that said, “If anyone could have hit my car, I’m glad it was you.”

What do you do with that?

When I think back over the events, I find myself second guessing where I went wrong and where I went right. If I had paid more attention to the prescription bottle’s contents, I would not have had to rush to the pharmacy which led to the miscalculation in parking which resulted in the accident which led to a difficult day for someone else which miraculously turned around into being a somewhat good or at least not terrible experience for someone else.

The experience of filling a prescription is laced with all kinds of unintended consequences. Then again, most of our experiences are filled with them.

We plan for A and get B or D or Z.

We hope for A and get C or F or lots of Y’s.

We pray for A and wonder if our prayers were heard at all.

Even in our sharpest plans, our solid hopes and our steady prayers, we face the reality of unintended consequences. So how do we deal?

Unintended consequences

By embracing grace and remembering that despite unintended consequences, God can redeem it all.

By expressing grace to others, and reminding them that sometimes things just happen as a result of unintended consequences. And in the process of embracing and expressing grace, we need to remember to laugh, giggle, and remember that this too, will pass.

*Original Photo Source

 

The Best Yes

My friend, Lysa TerKeurst wrote about the idea of making the best decisions in her latest book, The Best Yes.

She wrote it because she’s tired of rushing and stressing and missing out on the sweet parts of life. You see, rushing robs us of the parts of life that feed our soul. When a woman lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule, she’ll ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul. Lysa’s just tired of that deep ache. Maybe you are too?

Instead of constantly dreading saying yes and feeling powerless to say no, there’s another option.

And that is to ask, “What is my Best Yes in this?”

In The Best Yes, you’ll discover how to:

  • Cure the disease to please with a biblical understanding of the command to love.
  • Escape the guilt of disappointing others by learning the secret of the small no.
  • Overcome the agony of hard choices by embracing a wisdom-based decision-making process.
  • Rise above the rush of endless demands and discover your Best Yes today.

You can grab a copy of The Best Yes, here: http://goo.gl/ZFUZbD

The Best Yes

This post is part of “The Best Yes” Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers.

Lysa TerKeurst is the New York Times bestselling author of Made to Crave and Unglued. She isn’t shy about admitting what a mess she can be. But in the midst of everyday “growth opportunities,” she’s been learning God’s lessons and sharing them on her blog and in her books. Lysa is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and writes from her sticky farm table in North Carolina where she lives with her husband, Art, five kids, three dogs, and mouse that refuses to leave her kitchen.

How can we be praying for you as you learn to make the BEST YES when it comes to your decisions?

72 Comments

  1. Elisa
    Elisa on August 13, 2014 at 8:13 am

    I am learning that we are not capable of knowing whether a circumstance is good or bad. I almost died in a car accident when I was 17. By just about any measure, that is bad. But out of that came the very things I am most thankful for. So, maybe it wasn’t bad after all.

  2. Alee Behymer
    Alee Behymer on August 13, 2014 at 11:27 am

    I am practicing letting the “no’s” go. Whether they be big or little, I want to embrace every opportunity to love on people. But oftentimes, I do not have room in my schedule or the Lord is simply guiding me in another direction on that particular day. I loved the recent post about if it is not a definite “YES” than it is as no. All of this is perfect timing because the lesson for me this summer has been about focusing on the responsibilities that God gives me, and nothing else.
    Thank you for your ministry, Margaret!!

    ~Blessings

  3. cynthia Smith
    cynthia Smith on August 13, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    Just an awesome article and so very true! Thanks Margaret!

  4. Margaret
    Margaret on August 13, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    God certainly redeems and renews all– good or bad!

  5. Margaret
    Margaret on August 13, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    Aww, thanks friend!

  6. Margaret
    Margaret on August 13, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    Alee, what an important lesson to learn! Thanks for being faithful to what God is nudging in your life.

  7. Denise Schmidt
    Denise Schmidt on August 13, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    Margaret – Thank you for your wonderful articles. They make me think deeply, laugh out loud, pray boldly and fill me with God’s truths. Bless you!

    DD

  8. Margaret
    Margaret on August 13, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    Aw thank you sweet Denise for your note.

  9. Pamela Johnson
    Pamela Johnson on August 14, 2014 at 7:36 am

    We serve a sovereign God- and he is ever present in each of our lives. Aren’t we blessed beyond measure?
    Thanks Margaret- for your constant posts of encouragement and edification! You are a treasure to behold!

  10. Margaret
    Margaret on August 14, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Amen, Pam!

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