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What To Do When God Lets You Down

by | 66 comments

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All too often I hear stories like the one I heard earlier this week.

A young woman, (we’ll name Kailey for this article and her protection), approached me heartbroken. Her dad had been diagnosed with a vicious disease and given months to live.

Her church community prayed for his healing. Fasted for his healing. Declared his healing. Refused to believe anything other than his whole and complete healing. Kailey believed, hoped, and trusted, too.

Yet her precious father died.

His death crushed her heart and, from the pain I saw in her eyes, crushed her faith as well.

She had so many questions.

Why didn’t God save my dad?
Why wasn’t God who He says He is—the healer?
Why didn’t God intervene?
What if this whole faith thing is a sham?
Why should I ever trust God again?

The tears running down Kailey’s face soon raced down my own. I ached. So bad. I hugged this precious gift of a person. I prayed for God to meet her—maybe not as much as in the “why” as in the holy “who” of God revealing Himself to her (for a deeper explanation of this, check out Wonderstruck).

The truth is I have no answers. I can’t explain why God heals some dads and not others. I can’t explain why some people become horribly ill young and others old. I can’t explain the why.

Nor should I.

My role in that moment is to listen and love.

The worst thing I could possibly do is pour certainty on great pain.

I could have quoted Scripture, preached a short sermon, or offered a theological answer. But loving someone sometimes just means being with them in the moment. Aching with them in the pain.

Yet, as we enter Day 37 and Acts 23-24, I carry Kailey close to my heart in the reading.  While there have been many parallels between Luke and Acts,these chapters reveal Paul’s life paralleling Christ’s life.

Lent Luke and Acts THUMBNAIL(NOTE:  Click here to download a FREE one-page reading guide of Luke and Acts. or upgrade to the downloadable ebook called The 40-Day Live Lent Challenge: A Color Method Study for Luke-Acts for only $8.99. This 200-plus page booklet includes: a welcome letter, the reading plan, instructions on how to use the Color Bible Study Method, ideas on how to get the most from your study, creative artwork, and space to journal and doodle.)

During this Holy Week, though I’m in the book of Acts, I feel like I’m on the road to Golgotha. This is no accident.

Consider the following parallels:

Jesus is seized by an angry mob (Luke 22:54)
Paul is seized by an angry mob (Acts 21:30)

Jesus is slapped by a high priest’s aid (Luke 22:63-64)
Paul is slapped at the command of a high priest (Acts 23:2)

Jesus is tried four times and declared innocent three times (Luke 22:66-23:13)
Paul is tried four times and declared innocent three times (Acts 23:1-26:32)

Jesus is rejected by Jews (Luke 23:18)
Paul is rejected by the Jews (Acts 21:36)*

Luke-Acts grounds us in the truth of what it means to follow Jesus.

This is the path of cruciformity.
This is the path of laying down our lives.
This is the downward ascent.

As followers of Jesus, we are called to live in this tension of “What if God?” and “But if not?” (see Fight Back with Joy Bible study for a deeper explanation).

We live with hope and faith and trust. But sometimes that hope and faith and trust leads us down a road that we don’t want to travel, that we never want those whom we love to travel, a path that leaves us and those around us heartbroken and disappointed.

Luke-Acts reminds us that God does not leave us there, God wants to meet us there.

I don’t know what pain, what loss, what heartbreak you’ve walked through, but Luke-Acts reminds us that Jesus paved the way for awakening to God after great suffering.

My gentle prayer is that He will meet you—and those you love—in the midst of the unexplainable, in the midst of the unspeakable, in the midst of the suffering and speak the words to you through Scripture that heal, redeem and restore.

With great tenderness, love, and affection,

Margaret

Thanks to Baker Academic.

66 Comments

  1. Andrea McCaskey
    Andrea McCaskey on March 22, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    Thank you so much for reminding me that when someone is hurting deeply they don’t need my answers, they just want my presence. God, help me to know this in the deepest parts of my brain and heart so my response is one of presence and love.

  2. Dinah
    Dinah on March 23, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    I’ve walked that road. When I was 13, my mom died of cancer. I was told by someone at my church that if I’d had more faith, my prayers for her healing would have been answered. I wrestled with this for many years. Now, 43 years later, I’ve come to a peaceful letting go of the unjust guilt I carried. Even if I had all the answers, that wouldn’t take away the pain of loss. I’m ok with not having an explanation from God for why things happen, as long as I have brothers and sisters willing to walk with me through the valleys.

  3. Margaret
    Margaret on March 24, 2016 at 6:08 pm

    Yes! Praying He guides you as you encounter those who need it. Hugs!

  4. Margaret
    Margaret on March 24, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    Oh, Dinah! It’s so hard to believe people would be so cruel to a young girl. I’m thankful you found your way out from under the undeserved guilt. Huge hug!

  5. Chaplain Dan
    Chaplain Dan on March 24, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    Margaret, thank you so, so much for such God ordained words. I have been struggling with those exact feelings. Lost my family in a car accident at age 8 that left me in a coma for several weeks which lead to a lifetime of seizures and unknown scar tissue that caused years worth of irritation that recently developed into cancer. Ironically, I am a hospice chaplain and have ministered to many people who have asked those same words and now the Lord has placed me on the other end and I find myself sadly struggling. I am slowly coming to grips with 1Peter 5:10 – “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” Thank you for your ministry, it is such an uplift during this season in my life. God Bless you

  6. R
    R on August 12, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    When I was a child I lost my father when I was 7, I was the middle child I had a older sister and a younger brother, my brother didn’t remember my father. my brother committed when he was 32 from A doctor giving him meds, that made him feel worst when until he took his life, I was the one who told are mother, the following year on his death day [THANKSGIVING] really. I took my mother to the place where it happen to help cope with his loss [ Niagara Falls ]it really helped to us to face the place where it took place. That was 15years ago, Now on his birthday we go out to eat and celebrate his life. But my own trauma wasn’t over, they only just began, while I was at work my skin was set on fire burning glue that was on fire landed on my hands and arms, I spent two weeks in ICU, I recovered with majors scar’s and skin grafts but I was able to go back to work after 8 months off. 8 years later last year while I was at work I had a finger amputated. I’m 52 now yes I’m very let down by GOD I believe most people would be. I know you can’t answer for GOD nobody can. why this life. My goal in life has been and hasn’t changed, is not to hurt anyone or any animal, and to show we all have a bit of inner strength even in the worst of times. Margaret I don’t know right now if I’m telling you or GOD my troubles, I don’t think it much matters. I believe that GOD lives in all of us.
    united we stand divided we fall

  7. Kimberly
    Kimberly on May 23, 2024 at 12:43 pm

    This article did not help. It only explained your difficulties in answering legitimate questions from Christians, who have found several Scriptures and promises of the Bible to be lies.

  8. 1LTLos
    1LTLos on January 5, 2025 at 9:17 pm

    Each Jesus and Paul tried 4 times each?? They were found innocent three times and they stupidly hung around to force yet another illegal trial!?? You cannot be be found innocent but yet, tried again!! But to hang around and await trouble — or worse!! That is just plain idiotic!! It is difficult enough to pass through life on this GOd Forsaken earth as it stands. Why enhance your own changes of facing even the more undeserved or unwarranted troubles!! I think that most people who have had to live through the Obscumbo and Obrandon-Harriz decades – 2004 to 2025 have passed through the most hellacious and disgraceful times this nation has ever faced. I hear nothing and I receive nothing that I was told as a child would guide, me, enliighten me, direct me and assist me through rough times! None of this Biblical POV weighs very much in my life anymore – I wish that it did but some of us just have been through and seen too much. The BIble and its contents just is not a recipe to help place positice chck marks in your winners column. No way!! I just shake my head recalling the heavy losses I have suffered. Promises!?? Life gets worse as I age – not improves – Whew!!! Happy NEw Year

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