Let me introduce you to my friend, Julie. Julie Pierce has one crazy dream: to empower leaders to change the world. She does this through coaching, consulting teams, and speaking around the country. Author of Play, Team, Play!, she lives in the Dallas area with her family. Julie is a dear friend and Writers Boot Camp graduate.
by Julie Pierce
I reported to a stranger.
Every Monday morning, my boss and I met to dissect my team’s latest marketing plan. His cut-to-the-chase tone and mannerisms made it clear to me he didn’t care to know me as a person, only the details of our projects. These meetings left me feeling like a commodity rather than a contributor, a producer rather than a person.
A few hours later, I’d walk into a meeting with those who reported to me. The transition was like an unexpected ice bucket challenge: a shock to the system.
I knew my team. I sympathized with the financial pressure Frank felt as he pursued a master’s degree. I appreciated Nicki’s ability to silence a crowd with her chimpanzee call. And I understood Cara’s nervousness about pregnancy and Charlie’s nerves about proposing.
In turn, my team knew me. They recognized the “tell” of my tiredness—that’s when my Texas twang drawled every word out for days. They could read the stress on my face and the sparkle in my eyes.
The stark contrast between these two meetings highlighted a deeper truth:
Working for a stranger isolates and demotivates.
Working with a connected team includes and energizes.
Frank, Nicki, Cara, Charlie and I had moved from having a cursory knowledge of cubemates to becoming a knowing community of teammates. Because we knew each other beyond our titles and alma maters, we were motivated to help each other succeed. We wanted to see each other’s strengths shine.
Leader friend, are you leading a group of strangers or an energized, connected team? If you want to lead a dynamic, effective team, try these 3 steps for eliminating the strangers and cultivating team community:
- Asking intentional, open-ended questions like, “What’s your favorite way to spend a free weekend?” or “Who inspires you?” helps your team connect beyond the superficial. Give space for silence as people think of their responses and listen intently without interruptions. Thank them for sharing and follow-up when needed. With practice, you’ll start to hear the excitement in each other’s voices as well as the lumps in your throats.
- Nicknames and inside jokes emerge from time together beyond the deadlines and deliverables. Whether it’s an Iron Chef showdown or an Instagram scavenger hunt, purposeful play builds trust, strengthens communication, and creates memories.
- Celebrate. Big wins (like promotions) or little wins (like catching a glaring mistake before it goes to print) all deserve words of praise and cupcakes on the patio. In addition to birthdays and babies, look for opportunities to acknowledge the wins. My team celebrated everything from surviving a launch week to Christmas in July.
Leader friend, there’s no place for strangers on a team. Eliminate strangers on your team by encouraging a culture of connection. Your intentional investment will lead to energy around initiatives and commitment to the cause as a result of being more connected to each other.
What one thing will you do to connect with your team today?
We’re giving away a set of Julie’s conversation cards on the blog this week. To enter to win, simply leave a comment on this blog post. The winner will be selected and notified on Friday, August 28th.
Congratulations to the winner: Carolyn
Now this is inspiring and motivational…thanks for sharing these encouraging connection tips!
I think this applies to our church teams, too.
Thank you for these words. I am working on my leadership skills and truly needed to hear this today.
Good words to hear as I get situated in my new position as pastor to women. I will be including these in my first training in September. Thanks!
what one thing will Indo to connect this week? Make a phone call instead of a text, email or Facebook message. Might even send a personal card via snail mail!
Love these tips. Always good to be reminded that good teamwork requires intentionality. Thanks Julie!
I’m learning so much right now about connecting with each person in my sphere of influence and this was a ‘Sacred Echo’.
As a “capital I” introvert, I welcome the opportunity to partner with different team members on projects that only require two people. I prefer to get to know individuals one at a time. Team meetings can be torture!
Thanks for the energizing tips’
This is great advise to implement at a high school where the students work in the office.
two things… I thought of my boss, and then I thought about myself and where I could be better at connecting authentically. Thanks for this, it wa so timely!
Thank you for taking something that we all feel in our workplace and presenting it in a way that we can use it to create change. You inspire me, Julie!!
This is beyond great. I’m forwarding this to fellow leaders within my company.
This is a must have for all team leaders. Great idea!!!!
I lead a bible study on FaceBook in a private group. These look like great questions to help women who are spread across the United States feel connected to each other as they also fellowship around God’s Word!!
I’ve definitely been on both kinds of teams. it’s easy to slip into stranger mode to “get the job done”, but so much more rewarding to build community within a team! thanks for the blog!
This applies across teams as well! Sometimes you need to be cut-to-the-chase but all the time without caring about what’s going on with people today is not good. I’m giving the folks on my team the permission to call me out if I’m too full steam ahead for too long! We’re going to celebrate big when we launch our next series!
I lived through the cold results oriented team and your words are affirming and challenging. I have always held to this ideal and it is good to see it in words. I left that environment that sucked the soul dry and I am trying to bring life to the enviroments I have been given to serve.
What a wonderful idea! I was thinking along the same lines – this would be great for church teams as well as my own personal growth as a leader! Thank you!
Blessings,
Lynne
Oh my goodness! What a novel idea! Let’s put down the electronics and engage face-to face.
Our church has pretty much done away with women’s and men’s ministry teams. One person is the head..but no teams. No one else is there to support, encourage or help develop and reach out. Very sad.
Thank you for sharing.b
I am blessed to be a part of a brand new school this year. The way the staff development was done this past week I would have thought they had read your blog? it is very exciting to be a part of a team like this. I am also a part of the leadership team and so, this article has really helped me! Thank you!
Such a timely article. Love this. I have a negative team leader who works hard at isolating co-workers from each other. It’s destroying us….so I made a conscious decision to do what I can to connect with each colleague and do things to bring us together. I see a shift in those who are connecting, sharing and participating in activities like Friday lunches together (work topics OFF LIMITS), after work bike rides,etc.. We are holding each other accountable to stay positive and celebrate each others’ successes.
We all want to connect. These good ideas will really help get us there!
Thanks for this encouraging reminder. I need eyes to see the wins, big or little, and then find ways to celebrate them. Refreshing way to keep the team going and being creative.
I work closely with two others leading a group of 14 communities. I will be sharing your article with them. It is important to build relationships with the folks you lead.
Thank you for the reminder!
Great thoughts and ideas! Thanks for reminding us people are more important than our projects.
I will celebrate my team in loving and kind words. Today. And everyday. Thank you for this timely post about leadership.