My writing career began almost 20 years ago as intern at Christian Retailing magazine in Lake Mary, Florida. College provided a diploma but little of what I needed to survive in the 9 to 5 or, more important, the 5 to 9 of life.
Thrust into the world of publishing, the job became my training ground, the editors my schoolmasters, the readers my biggest fans and critics.
Countless hours were consumed with proofing, fact-checking, and the less-than-glamorous photocopying. But I learned the most about writing—and life—from hundreds of interviews.
Some people were breathtaking in their insight and depth. Others felt flimsy and shallow.
A few interviews provided rich accounts, compelling details, shocking anecdotes. Many did not. The stories that followed felt flat, unengaging.
As a naïve twentysomething, I thought the issue was them. The people.
Then one day I realized the real issue was me.
A pattern began to emerge. Though some individuals were prone to being more reserved, tight-lipped, and only offering yes-no answers, with enough prodding and just the right nudge they—and their stories—opened like a spring lily.
Among those who remained withdrawn or closed, I had to persist until I found the right the question.
That’s when I discovered a principle that’s not just true in journalism but also in life:
If you ask the wrong question, you’ll get the wrong answer.
This plays out time and time again when we meet new people. Sometimes we’ll struggle to connect, to find common ground. One apt question changes everything—the atmosphere in the room, the kindredness of the conversation. The right question opens a portal to what can sometimes become a lifelong friendship.
You’ve probably experienced this.
But if you ask the wrong questions—those that don’t move the conversation forward or open the hatch of connection, we as humans can remain stymied, disconnected.
Perhaps this is nowhere more true than in our relationship with God.
Sometimes we ask God questions that don’t press us forward in our faith, in our connectivity to the divine.
We want answers to questions we aren’t ready to hear.
We want answers to questions God isn’t ready to provide.
We want answers to questions that will only be resolved or make sense when we cross the threshold of heaven.
Perhaps, in order to lay hold of more joy, we need to begin asking better questions of God.
Ones that propel of forward.
Ones that lead us deeper into the heart of Christ.
Ones that awaken us to the fierce love of God.
Maybe instead of asking “Why?”, we need to ask, “Who?”
Instead of circling the drain of “Why this happened?”, we need to press into the question of, “Who are you in this, God?”
These are daring questions to ask. But such brave questions will not just lead to deeper connection to God and answers that transform us—making us look just a little bit more like Jesus.
Today, as you fight back with joy, reflect on the questions you’re asking God. What are some new questions you can begin asking that will move you forward in your faith?
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Ooh this is simmering inside of me right now…I need to sit with this for a bit. I’ll get back to you! Tara
I love this question….who are you here God? A question I started asking when things don’t make sense…and God doesn’t look like love… Instead of automatically going to the lie…God is not good… I now ask…what is it about your love that I don’t understand? I anchor by faith God is love even when everything is shouting the opposite…I put that anchor down so I can be held in the rough seas… And let God over time relieve what love looks like right in those moments… This has transformed my walk with God!!! Thanks Margaret….blessings to you~
Margaret. This is so valuable to me right now. I’ve been given a task to find the answers without knowing how or who or what to ask. Here is another pearl…another piece of the puzzle. Thank you.
Margaret, you don’t know me, but I’m a friend of Nancy Franson’s, who sings your praises. I decided a long time ago that “why?” is a four-letter word. Not terribly useful.
Just powerfully thought provoking Margaret . I need to mull over this for awhile. Thank you.
After receiving a disturbing phone call today, I immediately asked, “Why is this happening?” Your article was very timely for me this evening. I am now going to seek the Lord, asking, “Who are you in this, God?”
Thank you, Margaret!
Praying for you today, Norma!
Huge hug, Elizabeth.
I just adore Nancy. Thanks, Megan!
Huge hug, Lorretta!
AMEN!
Love this reminder. It brought back memories of a book I read years ago called Questioning Evangelism by Randy Newman. I wrote down this quote. It was in regards to Job’s response to all the suffering in his life. “God wants us to be healed, not informed, and that takes times…His (Jobs) declaration confirms that, more than the answer to the ultimate ‘why’ question, God wants us to know the answer to the ultimate ‘who’ question.”
Also, the other day at church part of the message was on Moses and his concern that he wasn’t at all qualified for the job got had in store for him. You’ve got to love God’s response when he basically tells Moses…that’s completely beside the point. I AM God and I WILL be with you…that’s all you need to know!
Margaret,
Thank you for this piece of wisdom that you have shared. I love that you have changed the perspective that we often turn to (inward) and focused on God and who He is in our circumstances.
Joy comes from God – and we won’t have it or experience it if our focus is on ourselves. How often I forget this and my focus is inward on me and the pain, frustration or disappointment I feel, instead of focusing on who God is and how He is with me through all that I am going through.
I will definitely be thinking of this new question as I go throughout the days, weeks and months ahead. I have a feeling it will make a huge difference in my life!
Praying that you bask in the JOY of the Lord this week, Dulce! Hugs!
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