Almost everything and anything is available to us through the internet. Entertainment. Education. Knowledge awaits at our fingertips. One click and a product from across the world arrives at your doorstep. But one thing still remains that you can’t go bid on eBay or have two-day delivered from Amazon Prime.
What is this gift?
No matter how much money you have, no matter how fast your computer connection, you’ll never be able to go and buy a 15-year-old friendship online.
Such relationships require time. Nurturing. Investment. Persistence. Grace.
For the last 15 years, my friend, Sheila, and I have nurtured such a friendship. We live on opposite sides of country. Both of us has gone through major life transitions and moves over the years.
Yet the linchpin to nurturing our friendship may surprise you:
This beat up, scratched, well-worn metal ball has traveled thousands of miles back and forth across the country. “The Friendship Ball” is passed back and forth in celebration of life and memorable occasions between friends.
Every few months for the last 15 years, Sheila and I send it back to each other with a gift. Over the years, the ball has been packed with chocolate, wrapped in a bright scarf, nestled next to a candle, tucked into a fun purse, and much more.
Tucked into these packages is a hand-written note with personal updates and prayer.
“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
This little ball has played an instrumental role in nurturing one of the most joyful gifts of life: a precious, long-term friendship.
Making new friends is always a hoot, but savoring the old ones over time is priceless.
The friend who walks with you through the pinnacles and valleys of life.
The friend who roots for you no matter what situation you’re facing.
The friend who will listen without being judgy when you really need to talk.
The friend who celebrates your wins and mourns with your losses.
The friend who collects wrinkles and skin flaps and grey hairs and bald spots and a few extra pounds along side you and loves you anyway.
“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet.
Even longer,’ Pooh answered.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
Pause for a moment.
What are the friendships in your life that have flourished for more than a decade?
More than two decades? Or three?
Today is a day to remember and reach out. Send an email. Pick up the phone. Connect on Facebook. Send a package. Maybe even a friendship ball.
You can make your own friendship ball by decorating anything circular. Add a tag about the importance of friendship (John 15:13).
Invest yourself in the very thing money can’t buy—the joyful gift of decades of friendship.
As I explain in Fight Back With Joy, you won’t make it through somethings in life without good friends.
Fight Back With Joy book and 6-session DVD Bible study are now available for pre-order. To pre-order the book and Bible study, and receive incredible gifts for ordering, click here.
What do you do to nurture your long-term friendships?
What do you think is the biggest contributor to losing these precious relationships?
Want to escape fear and regret? Margaret’s new book and Bible study, Fight Back With Joy: Regret Less. Celebrate More. Stare Down Your Greatest Fears. will help you apply biblical strategies to whatever challenge you’re facing. Click here to purchase your copy.
My long time (30 years) friend, Paula and I met at church camp when we were were in our early teens…We have never lived in the same state and I absolutely love the idea of the friendship ball…we’ve never done anything like that but for some reason our friendship has stayed the course through our marriages, births, crisis and deaths – we have always been there for one another…just a phone call or a flight away. I think something like the friendship ball would be a nice way to celebrate the next 30 years of our friendship!! Thank you Margaret! xoxo
I LOVE that this was your post for today…..for today is MY best friend’s birthday. We met in the fall of 1977 when we were placed together as roommates at college. We ended up only rooming together for one year, but that was all it took to forge our friendship. Since that one year in college, we have also never lived in the same state. But our friendship transcends that. I truly don’t know of anyone I am so comfortable with, weather we are shopping, eating, talking, traveling or even just being quiet and just being together….I think out of over 30 years of friendship, my most cherished time was surprising her for her 50th birthday and also our girls’ trip to Florida, where we spent a week, just relaxing together and taking a million pictures….So thank you for posting this most perfect article so I can have the opportunity to say “Happy Birthday Laurie Stell!! I love you Roomie!!
What a beautiful friendship, Tara. Paula is so blessed to have you. 🙂
Wahooo! Happy Birthday, Laurie!!
I just had a delightful retreat weekend with four college roommates. We met when we were all eighteen. Although we are all several decades beyond that number now, we have stayed connected through a group letter (!) that turned into a group email. We challenge each other to stay honest and stay faithful. And we now gather once a year for face-to-face time. Much of our weekend this year turned to times of prayer for each other. What a gift!
Oh Margaret, your words are spot on. I have a precious friendship that is each of these things you describe. It is one of my greatest treasures in life and through it, I have experienced God’s love and grace in ways I never have before. There is just something about knowing that someone is committed to walking through the highs and lows of life. I have also found that finding that special friend who will not only mourn when you mourn, but actually rejoice when you rejoice, is rare. It seems that a true friend will celebrate your successes and joys even more than you, with no jealousy, no comparison, and no focus on herself. Just loving you and celebrating you. I love my forever friend and know without a shadow of a doubt that she is a gift from God to be cherished! Thank you for writing this blog – it so delighted my heart to pause on the joys of friendship!!
Sounds like an incredible group of friends!
“It seems that a true friend will celebrate your successes and joys even more than you, with no jealousy, no comparison, and no focus on herself. Just loving you and celebrating you.” YES! I love that description of a true friend. Thanks, Rachel.
Marcy – thank you for sending me this post. I am so grateful for our friendship and know that God knew exactly what he was doing putting us together in that small little dorm room so many year ago.
Margaret – what a great post! God gives us such amazing gifts in long-lasting friendships.
Thank you Margaret! And thank you for the post. God is Good!
LOVE YOU Roomie! <3
I just finished reliving some memories on Facebook with friends of 30 plus years…how fun to read this just afterward. I am also going away tomorrow for a girlfriends weekend away and believe it or not (
God really did know what He was doing….that one year….wow what memories it holds… God knew it would only take one year to “get us going”….and here we are still going strong….MISS YOU and love you!