It was never the title she would have chosen for her op-ed in Christianity Today. The titling alone created an uproar.
People who misunderstood.
People who never read the rich, insightful piece.
People who dolloped criticism rather than compassion.
“Stop Sending Cheery Christmas Cards” isn’t opposed to Christmas cards at all. In fact, my fellow joy warrior, is quite supportive of them. Tucked into her tender, well-written post resides a message that none of us can afford to miss this holiday season.
Kay Warren shares that after the death of her son Matthew, she divided the Christmas cards she received into three piles.
The first didn’t mention their family’s grief.
The second included a short, “Praying for you.”
The third offered soothing, thoughtful words of compassion and empathy.
That final pile proved the smallest.
She notes that many Christmas letters today are brochures of the years’ accolades, accomplishments, photos of trophies and trips around the world.
High-gloss, happy family photos can be hard to receive when you’re the one who has experienced great loss or pain.
When you’ve lost a son or daughter, spouse or parent. When the bank forecloses on your house. When you’ve signed divorce papers. When mental illness takes up residence in your body or someone you know. When you’re battling a vicious disease.
What do you say or do then?
On a Facebook post, Kay advises:
“Tell them in a few words that you are aware of how painful Christmas can be and that you are praying for them. Yes, it’s inconvenient—it will take more time than your rushed signature, and it will require entering into someone else’s loss, mourning, grief, and anger.”
Why had I never thought of this? Why had I never considered this?
Why didn’t Kay post this letter three weeks earlier this year so I could have done this before my Christmas mailing went out?
It’s simply brilliant. Compassionate. Demonstrates the love of God Christ showed during this season.
In upcoming years, I’m hopeful that my holiday cards won’t be the same thanks to Kay’s wise words. And yours won’t be either.
