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4 Small Group Sins that Can Sabotage Your Leadership

by | 73 comments

4 Small Group Sins that Can Sabotage Your Leadership

It’s that time of year again.

The leaves are beginning to change. Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte has arrived. School bells are ringing. And small groups are in full swing.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve been asking YOU to answer some of the dirty-dog-difficult questions of small group leaders on Facebook. With such an incredible online community, we’re inviting you to weigh in on some of the toughest Bible study problems.

Don’t agree with the advice offered? Add your own insights in the comments, below.

I have a member who says she wants to be part of the small group, but lacks commitment and consistency. How should I best respond?

“Ownership in the group is vital. Let them know they are important to the group by assigning a task… Reading the opening question or prayer. Ask them to pick someone else in the group to encourage.” –Shirley B.

“Keep on. They are there. And moving in the right direction. Give love and smiles.” –Melissa L.

“You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make ’em drink. I encourage them to keep on keeping on. Don’t give up. If you befallen behind, don’t try catch up (you own the study book, you can always go back and finish what u missed after the class is over). Keep coming. I tell them that their input is important and what they learn matters.” –Jennifer T.

I have one small group member who won’t yield to the majority of the group regarding schedule and child care. How should I respond to him?

“Challenge them to be exceptional rather than to be the exception.” –Brendan P.

“Go with the majority. Place her in another group at another time or place that might meet her needs better. Remember her in your prayers.” –Judy H.

“The leader sets the tone, schedule, and parameters. I attended a small group where the leader promptly started at 7, whether you were there or not, no waiting. Seek out groups to fit your needs, not show up and expect others to change for you.” –Annette B.

“Remember, there may be a good reason behind the objection like the conviction of the Holy Spirit.” –Diane H.

“Odds are there are many more areas of their life that are unyielded as well. Begin the group with a fun game, so the rest of the group won’t notice his late arrival. He may feel an urge to arrive on time to participate. If he is creative challenge him to be the leader of this on time activity letting him know you are depending on him and the group is as well. This person is probably in need of coming alongside and discipling.” –Jodie V.

“I believe whether it’s a sin issue or not, do what Matthew 18 says to do: Confront privately if they won’t listen bring it before the group. Or find a solution as we are all in different seasons and there is nothing wrong with grace and mercy.” –Jennifer A.

We are two weeks in to our latest study, but people don’t like the curriculum we’ve selected? Should we continue? Stop? Pick another? Push through?

“Push through allowing Holy Spirit to speak, move, and challenge.” –Lisa M.

“If you’ve only been in the study one week then give it time and see what happens. If it’s been longer than three weeks, ask the group.” –S.L. B.

“If I feel God led me to do it then I push through it.” –Gina D.

“Address the concerns immediately. Discuss the concerns individually one on one. Change direction, but continue with study.” –Deborah H.

“We press on with the study! It’s hard as leaders when the same ones complain yet never offer suggestions, go with the majority.” –Nesha V.

“It’s okay to dump a study if it truly isn’t working to build or encourage a group. Have alternatives & back up plan always!” –Brendan P.

Our group is a mixed bag of new believers, unbelievers, and veteran Christians. How can we ensure the new believers and seekers don’t feel excluded or choose material that is over their heads while still challenging the life-long Christians?

“The small group should meet the needs of all members by encouragingly open dialogue, ensuring everyone has the opportunity to speak and be respectful of where each member is in their faith journey.” –Jennifer F.

“Ask a few seasoned believers to attend the small group with the intended purpose of making the newbies feel a part. Tell those to bring up questions a new believer or seeker might have, so discussion can happen without the newbies having to be the question-askers. Ask those same ones to seek out those newbies at services, invite them to coffee, etc.” –Patricia P.

“Slow the study down. As a leader for many years I felt like a good review for long time believers was always good as well as helped the new ones or seekers. I also emailed answers to questions during the week I thought might be tough or that someone might have a question about before meeting as a group.” –Carol H.

As small groups around the world meet together, let’s lift the members and leaders up in prayer. May God lead, guide, speak, and move in and through them.

Do you need advice about a situation in your small group or Bible study?

Ask it in the comments below.

Don’t agree with advice offered above, or want to offer your own two cents?

Leave a comment below.

*Original Photo Source

73 Comments

  1. Sandy C
    Sandy C on August 27, 2014 at 10:21 am

    My husband and I are new leaders of the group we were in. The group was doing great for a while then summer came and people began to get busy. (which is understandable). But then we have those few who come when they have nothing else to do or those who have left the church for other reasons.
    I guess my question is how do you hold them accountable when they don’t seem to care. I love my life group but sometimes it feels like there is nothing holding it together.
    I know seeking the Holy Spirit to lead is our main focus, but do you find it easier to have a curriculum or basic discussion over a topic?

  2. Sarah
    Sarah on August 27, 2014 at 10:28 am

    What do you suggest for group members who consistently monopolize the conversation? We try hard to be a safe place to share, but a couple of people go on and on. It’s so hard to interrupt when it’s heartfelt sharing, but everyone should feel like there is space for them. I feel like such a weak leader when I let it go on too long, but heartless when I break in and change the focus.

  3. Patty
    Patty on August 27, 2014 at 10:47 am

    These 4 questions are valid and definitely can be a distraction as a leader of a small group, Where I struggle in my heart is they are labeled sins that can sabotage leadership. My group
    of ladies for the past six years do all of these and by no means are they out to sabotage me. We discuss the issues at hand and move on to do it better. At the end of the day we are human and imperfect otherwise would we need a Savior.. My thought is Praise the Lord they come to gather each week and carve time to learn more about Him. The focus is not on the leader it is on Him…

  4. Sarah
    Sarah on August 27, 2014 at 10:51 am

    Sarah: That’s where previously stated and repeated guidelines are vital. There is no cross-talk, we are not there to fix one another and we keep our comments limited otherwise the leader will step in or signal to stop and I suggest the use of “I” when one speaks so that we keep our thoughts and comments about ourselves and not make judgments about others. It is about our own personal growth. Life’s Healing Choices has great guidelines and covenant that is read before each session and it helps.
    Blessings, Sarah

  5. Sheila
    Sheila on August 27, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    One of the biggest problems I have seen in Bible Studies and churches
    is cliques. If you are not part of the in group, you are on the
    outside and made to feel like an intruder. Ladies,
    we need to do much more to welcome people into our
    groups, churches, and Bible Studies. We are all parts of
    one body – could we be missing out by excluding a foot or hand?

  6. Marti Hatch
    Marti Hatch on August 27, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    “Our group is a mixed bag of new believers, unbelievers, and veteran Christians. How can we ensure the new believers and seekers don’t feel excluded or choose material that is over their heads while still challenging the life-long Christians?”
    One of my first Disciple Bible Studies was just that and it was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL experience! Trust the Spirit and the process.

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