“Were you angry with God over the cancer?” the radio host pressed.
Silence hung in the air.
Blurt. That’s what I longed to do. Blurt about how much I wanted to be angry, about how anger would have been so freeing and refreshing.
When properly expressed, anger is a gift. A signal that something is off-kilter. Healthy anger can herald justice, cleans the static from a relationship, create space for honest dialogue.
It’s possible to get the best of anger rather than let anger get the best of us.
Yet I’m weak when it comes to healthy anger. Any expresses of anger are still childlike, more like a tantrum than a burning, well-honed expression of grief.
Anger can help us move us forward toward healing and alert us the raw areas of our soul that require salve.
Yet anger isn’t what I felt toward God.
I wish I had. That would have been the right answer to the radio host’s question that day.
Instead, I felt something else: compliant.
This wasn’t my first rodeo with loss, affliction, or suffering. Maybe I’d worked through the why questions over the previous battlefields I’ve stood on. Loss of loved ones. Friends taking their own lives. Embezzlement. Mysterious illnesses. If you’ve read my books, you know, there’s much more.
Maybe I am still in shock. Maybe I am still too close to the treatment. Maybe the anger will come.
Or maybe trust is beginning to take deeper root in my life.
Trust believes the best, looks for the best, hopes for the best.
Maybe, even in this, God wants to unfold His very best. Such hope gives me the strength to continue fighting back with joy.
Perhaps one day I’ll get mad. Throw my fists in the air. Shoot a pellet gun at an unsuspecting bunny. (Have I mentioned we have a serious bunny problem? One of our neighbors is calling for the commencement of bunnygeddon.)
Sure, I’d love an hour with God to shout and demand with a mottled face that he answer my runaway train of questions. Lately, though, He seems rather quiet on the subjects I want to talk about and rather wordy on topics I’ve never considered.
Deeper issues of the heart.
Maybe I’m asking what and why too early. Maybe it’s not time yet.
Maybe you’re asking what and why too early. Maybe it’s not time yet.
Until then I’m still waiting. Learning to embrace the unknowing. The mystery.
How do you express and manage your anger with God?
[metaslider id=30121]
Let’s discover freedom from the past. Margaret’s new book and Bible study, Fight Back With Joy: Regret Less. Celebrate More. Stare Down Your Greatest Fears. will teach you how to turn mourning into joy. Click here to purchase your copy.
When I moved here almost 18 yrs ago, I was so angry with God. I had been dating men who never used the word love and certainly were not going to be around long. Yet I blamed God for my unhappiness. My pastor’s wonderful wise wife listened to me pour out my hurt and disappointment with God. (Anger can be a thin crust over the quicksand of hurt and disappointment). She gently said something that touched the hurt place and began my healing journey. “God is big enough to handle your anger.” That was all. No condemnation (Romans 8:1), no advice, no horrified expression on her dear face. Just permission to pour out all my pain and anger to a God Who is big enough to handle it, Who then is free to start healing my self-inflicted wounds. Life has never been the same.
I learned to change my questions from “what is this happening for” to one that allows God to keep moving me forward.. “If this is happening, then what would You have me do with it now, Lord? And I began to watch God lean in an equip because I had made room for the equipping, instead of room for more questions, if that makes any sense…
I get so much encouragement from your writing, Margaret, God is using every inch of your life! Thank you!
I actually wrote about questions today myself. I think it comes to that most fundamental of all questions: is God really good? I’ve been through some stuff too (as we all know the pains of life), but I can’t say I’ve necessarily been all that angry at God and more angry at the situation. Still, I’ve learned the great importance of honesty in our feelings. If you’re angry, you can safely express that to God and not let it come between your relationship. He knows it’s there, of course! Good thoughts, Margaret. Thank you!
Yes– Love this, Robin. He can handle all of our WHY questions as he draws us into WHO he is.
“I had made room for the equipping, instead of room for more questions…” YES. I love that, Christine.
I think your right– that all of our questions boil down to us really trusting God’s goodness. Thanks for reading, Jason!
Margaret, I love the honesty of your post. If you don’t have anger, you don’t have anger. It’s as simple and wonderful as that. Thank you, Lord! God has brought you to this submissive place and it’s beautiful and fully rooted in him. And I love how you aren’t afraid if people judge you for your God-given compliance to him. You just say it like it is. Thank you for your example, Joy-filled Lady!
Thanks for the word of encouragement, Cheryl. Huge hug!
alo 789: alo 789 – 789alo
lowest prescription prices online india lowest prescription prices online india online pharmacy india
https://mexicanpharminter.shop/# mexican pharmacy online store
http://mexicanpharminter.com/# mexican pharmacy online store
canadian pharmacy price checker
india pharmacy without prescription: IndiaMedFast – online medicine shopping in india
cheap canadian pharmacy online Cheapest online pharmacy pharmacy in canada
canada drug pharmacy: highest rated canadian online pharmacy – canadian pharmacy online
best canadian pharmacy Certified International Pharmacy Online canadian pharmacy prices
online medicine shopping in india: online pharmacy india – cheapest online pharmacy india
Generic 100mg Easy Generic100mgEasy buy viagra here
Generic100mgEasy: Generic 100mg Easy – sildenafil 50 mg price
Tadalafil Easy Buy Tadalafil Easy Buy Buy Cialis online
Generic 100mg Easy: Generic100mgEasy – Generic 100mg Easy
Kamagra Kopen Online: Kamagra – Kamagra Kopen Online
Generic 100mg Easy Generic100mgEasy Generic100mgEasy
п»їcialis generic: Tadalafil Easy Buy – Tadalafil Easy Buy
kamagra pillen kopen kamagra 100mg kopen kamagra kopen nederland