“Perrier with sprig of parsley, please.”
Ah yes, people think the life of an author is all glitz and glamor. They have no idea. The private jets. The Bentleys. The New York photo shoots. The summer house in France.
Oh wait, that’s someone else’s life.
Here’s a behind-the-scenes look of what it’s like to be a writer and 7 signs you’ve made it as an author:
1. You’re mentioned in a fan’s Christmas letter.
Last December, I received a Christmas card and letter from a couple we’d met. Star struck by the encounter, they included me in their holiday letter. Flattered indeed. They wrote:
“We got to meet Margaret Feinstein and her husband Layf.”
That’s how you know you made a lasting impression. Or at least my Jewish cousin did.
2. You receive enormous royalty checks.
It will be hard, but I’m going to try not to spend it all in one place.
3. People ask you to sign a book.
Wait, that’s not my book. The real test that you’ve made it is an author is when you just smile and sign it anyway. You’d be amazed at all the names I’ve signed.
4. People send you homemade theological quizzes.
Sent by potential reader:
Before I consider perusing your book, I need to know if you believe that Jesus was:
- a) a prophet
- b) a good teacher
- c) the Son of God
Before I consider perusing your quiz, I want to know why you didn’t supply option d) all the above. You flunk.
5. When you arrive at an event and the person greeting at the door asks you if you’re the caterer.
Yep. It’s as awkward as it sounds.
6. When you find your books in a .99 bargain bin at a Big Lots in rural Louisiana. After inquiring about whether they are priced incorrectly, the clerk says, “Pay whatever you want. We’re just tired of looking at them.”
That’s a sure sign of success.
7. When you arrive at an event and someone stops you backstage to tell you how much they loved your last worship album.
I know I am Carrie Underwood’s doppleganger, but really?
If you’re a writer, author, artist, pastor or business person, what are the signs you’ve really made it?
Interested in learning the behind-the-scenes work of becoming a writer? Join us for one of our Writers Boot Camp events. Click here for details.
i can’t stop laughing Margaret…thank you for the giggle (even if it was at your own expense)! Hugs!
Margaret,
I have been smiling all the way through. As a writer I am touched when my words have touched another. Your words always touch me.
Blessings,
Janis
I was checking out at the grocery store once, and the checker (who it turns out belongs to the same church as I) asked me, “Don’t you sing at New Hope?” That’s when I knew I was finally a rock star. lol 🙂
I had a similar experience: I went to parent-teacher interviews at my daughter’s school, sat down in front of her music teacher and student teacher, and the student teacher said, “You sing at Bethel!” (Why yes. Yes I do.)
Oh, my goodness, I loved this. So loved this!!
This past weekend a relative asked about my recent book release. Rather than the simple and immeasurable question of “How’s it going?”, he very kindly encouraged me. He reminded me that affecting one life, just one life, is enough. He was right — and I know he’s right! — but sometimes I’d just like to know that my writing affects more than a small handful.
Oh boy…keeps you humble! 😉
Margaret, thank you for making me laugh out loud today. You are truly a special gift from God!!
Oh my, i needed that laugh!!!!
I am a Christian Comedian and I loved these comments, they happen to comedians too.
I usually get “oh you’re the girl on the poster” or the comedian never gets a “green room”, “dressing room” or “speaker spot”, I usually have to find the nearest bathroom. I also get “hey I want to buy your DVD and the they reply “why so much?”….I charge $15 for one and the rest are donation…*sigh*. My favorite thing that happened to me was when someone first asked me for my autograph. I took their pen and paper and then I just stared at the girl. I guess the look on my face sad it all. She looked at me and said “write your name.” At least since then I have remembered my name.
too funny! People will do or say anything! Be blessed today!
So funny! I love it!! And I loved listening to you at Stronger 2015 in Pigeon Forge this past weekend. You’ve definitely helped me to “punch holes in the darkness” today!!
Oh Ms. Feinstein, you crack me up. But I really do love your latest worship CD. You sure can belt out those Jesus tunes. Oh. I also loved your books “Shouting at the Divine” and “The Sacred Gecko.”
Your fan,
Jennifer
Oh, Margaret. Yes, yes, yes! I especially loved the 17- cent royalty check. Over the years I’ve been called Liz Taylor Higgs and Liz Higgins Clark, and have signed many a Max Lucado book. P.S. Can’t wait to see you rock the platform at Women of Joy this weekend in Myrtle Beach! xox
Thanks so much for this post. It’s good not to take ourselves too seriously ….
Since I’m weekly on the news, I often get asked if I am the weather girl. But best of all, someone commented that they couldn’t wait to read my book “Shredding the Paper Tiger.” At least both titles had 4 words in them? Love this post, love you.
This post made me want to laugh and cry. You have poked fun at some experiences I have had as well. I know that they can really throw us off (to say the least).
My husband and I are both ministers, among other things. The things I have encountered in that arena? Oh my. Once a woman came up and complimented my husband on his “sermon.” We’d each ministered in a service. She then came over to me and said “I enjoyed your little talk, too.” Nice!
This post is full of defiant joy…that’s for sure!
I so resonate with this. So much of what you write has happened to me too in differing degrees. It’s a humbling road, but most folks think it’s all glam! 🙂
Giggling.
God knows how to keep us humble!
Margaret, This is so hilarious!! I’m still laughing! Thanks, I really needed the laugh it’s been a very bad day. I love everything you share. God Bless you
This cracked me up!! You are adorable
So funny, God has a great sense of humor and He keeps us humble…
🙂 this just made me smile … Laugh out loud and bought me Joy this morning. Thank you. I’m going through a difficult and uncertain trail and after reading the chapter in your book about the red balloons … I decided to painted my nails red last night as a reminder to choose joy … Spread joy … Find joy.
Thank you for being an inspiration to so many.
Margaret, your healthy dose of reality and humor really brings tears to my eyes, both from laughing so hard and relief. I lamented my $2 royalty check, thinking “oh well, maybe someday, when I can write as well as Margaret or Mary or Liz…” To see you and some of your other wonderful author commenters tell it like it is, really, really encourages me, the fledgling, what-am-I-doing-fooling-myself writer. Thank you (all) for putting it into perspective!
Margaret … too funny! I laughed … I forwarded it to authors I’m coaching … I read it to my hubby! Way too funny! Thanks for making me giggle!
I’m sure funny things have happened to me as well … I’d share but I can’t remember! 🙂 When I remember I’ll let you know ! 🙂
Hugs!
Hilarious article. Thank you for sharing your heart and your humor with us. Love your books and please know, I would get your name right in my Christmas letter – and give you one of YOUR books to sign!
Seriously, thank you, Margaret!
Thanks for the humor. I’m really looking forward to “making it” as an author.
This was so funny. Basically, I experienced all of the above.
Sweet Margaret,
LOL! Thank you so much for your transparency. I’m coming to your Writer’s Boot Camp, but only because of your words of encouragement in your “Wonderstruck” study.
You stated (my translation) that if God asks/calls you to write, then write. It’s for Him and unto Him and if no one ever reads it…you’ve been obedient. It’s a win! I’m hanging onto those words as I take baby steps of faith to attend the Boot Camp. At the end of the day, I’m so thankful that you’ve followed His leading to write and I’m sure our Father is too.
Even in the .99 bin, it’s a win, right???