Let me introduce you to my sweet friend and fellow JOY warrior, Liz. Liz Curtis Higgs has one goal: to help women embrace the grace of God with joy and abandon. She’s the author of more than 30 books with 4.5 million copies in print, including Bad Girls of the Bible and The Girl’s Still Got It. She blogs weekly at LizCurtisHiggs.com.
by Liz Curtis Higgs
I’ve never watched someone shrink before. That’s what my precious mother-in-law has been doing since her cancer diagnosis. Not only is her body growing smaller, thinner, more fragile; her world is shrinking too.
Going out less and staying in more. Laying aside books that take too much energy to read. Turning off the television because none of it matters. Swallowing pills that ease her pain, but muddle her mind.
To be honest? Over the last few visits, I’ve run out of words to say.
Maybe that’s a good thing, because I worry about saying the right thing.
Then my feisty friend, Margaret Feinberg, writes, “When life begins to shrink, opportunities for joy are magnified.”
This isn’t some platitude that Margaret found bouncing around the Internet. This is a battle-tested principle she has forged and refined until it bears the shining gleam of truth.
So, could I do it? Could I find a way to infuse joy into a heartbreaking situation?
On our next visit to the nursing home, I prayed in the car before following my husband inside. Would his mother be awake and lucid? Or nodding in and out of sleep, unaware we were there?
One cause for joy, right from the start: she was fully awake and smiling. Two, she knew who we were. Three, she’d eaten a few bites of her lunch. Four, she held my hand and wouldn’t let go (I love this).
Family photos were passed around to engage her in conversation. After a promising start, her words began to wander down unmarked roads. What clearly made sense to her soon made little sense to us.
As my Scottish friends say, she was “away with the fairies,” in a dream world all her own. Even so, she was enjoying herself. And some of the things she said were—forgive me—funny.
Then, God n
udged me. Go there. Go with her.
So, I stepped into her world. It wasn’t that hard, really. Like playing Let’s Pretend.
“How many men are in the ballroom?” she asked, a twinkle in her eye. “Are they here to dance with me?”
I dutifully looked through the open door into the hallway. “Seven, I’d say. Some of them are quite handsome.” Then I winked at her. “I hope you won’t mind, but I’ve asked them all to wait, so we can visit longer.”
“Oh, good.” She beamed.
Our time away with the fairies was brief but delightful. Wherever she led, I gladly followed. I avoided looking at her husband or mine, fearful they might misunderstand, or worse, try to bring us back from fairyland. If that was my mother-in-law’s happy place, I was grateful to be her traveling companion.
Then she drifted off for a short nap, and woke up laughing. Laughing.
Me? I had tears in my eyes. I get it, Lord. Follow joy.
**UPDATE**
Liz’s sweet mom-in-love was welcomed into the arms of Jesus on January 31st, 2015. Join me to continue to pray for Liz and her family as they grieve this deep loss.
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