Have you ever asked a question to a small group, only to have an eternity of silence follow? You’re sure the clock on the wall is ticking twice as loud and assume everyone is thinking about the awkwardness. To make it stop, you answer your own question, preventing valuable discussion and learning opportunities.
When you starting feeling squeamish from the silence, remind yourself what happens when thinking of an answer. Biologically speaking, neuron impulses must travel down different pathways, jump synoptic gaps, and retrieve memories from both short and long term storage.
Slowly count to seven, giving ample time for people to remember and to form what they want to say. It takes time to think!
Also, place yourself in your small group members’ shoes. Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to answer a question, but the leader moved on too quickly? You wanted to participate. Instead, the leader continued to answer all his own questions. All too often, what was supposed to be a place for hearing each other’s thoughts becomes ground for a monologue.
Lastly, remember that your worth does not depend on the length of the silence or on how well your group is responding. When you are busy promising yourself that you will resign at the end of the meeting, it’s easy to forget to whom you belong: to the One who created silence in the first place.
How do you handle silence in your small groups?
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