This past week I attended a conference for just for me. No speaking. No panels. Nada.
That’s a big deal.
My day job involves speaking at conferences, retreats, and leadership events, so signing up for an event to simply attend and receive is an unusual yet beautiful form of self-care.
But when it comes to Leading & Loving It, I registered a ticket and place in the calendar to be refreshed, renewed, and refocused. The conference is designed for pastor’s wives (check) and women in ministry (check, check).
I cannot recommend the event enough. The line-up of speakers including the brilliant Lori Wilhite, melt-your-face-off teacher Tara Jenkins, pee-your-pants funny Julie Richard, heart awakening Noel Yeatts, captivating Hosanna Poetry and so many more. These incredible women challenged, encouraged, and made us howl with laughter. I left the event with bubbling with joy.
But the words of one speaker keep haunting me in the most beautiful way.
She shared how she had prayed a prayer for a long time… a good and holy and beautiful prayer… and her prayer wasn’t answered. Meanwhile, she’d seen others praying the same prayer and theirs was answered. That’s a hard place.
Maybe you know that place. The place where you’re praying for a child and everyone else is celebrating baby showers. The place where you’ve apply for dozens and dozens of jobs and everyone you know is employed and getting promotions. The place where you’re experiencing foreclosure while those you know sleep secure. Maybe they’re even upsizing.
The place where it appears everyone else’s prayers are being answered except yours.
From that place, can you pray the wrong prayers?
I believe God hears every prayer, every groan and gutterance, that’s offered up in prayer. In that place, there are no wrong prayers. But maybe, just maybe, there are better prayers.
Or maybe ones that shift our focus.
“Sometimes we want our circumstances healed, when God’s at work healing our hearts,” she said.
Those words provided a balm to my soul.
Because how often have I prayed…
God fix this. God solve that.
God do this. God do that.
God make this better. God make that better.
In every prayer, I just want God to change, to heal, my circumstances…
But what if, like my new friend says, God wants to heal my heart.
I keep a well-trod prayer list in the back of my humongous Bible. Several years ago, I scribbled the words, “Thank you God, just as it is,” at the toward the top of the page. This was a prayer of and for contentment.
Since last week, I’ve been praying, “Thank you God, just as it is, please heal my heart.”
Perhaps the prayer is most powerful not for what is says but for what it doesn’t say.
There’s no asking for circumstances to change, but rather change me in the midst.
And I’m finding fresh peace and contentment and gentle shifts inside.
My challenge to you this week is simply to pray for heart change alongside (or maybe even more than) circumstance change.
That you’ll join me in praying:
“Thank you, God, just as it is, please heal my heart.”
Love this…the perfect email that i needed in my life this morning. Thank you for posting and Praise Jesus, that i read it.
Huge hug to you, Lynda!
I also like your post. couple years ago I too will just pray a prayer that will be answered, but in last plus minus 5 years I am struggle and feel like my prayers answers took long than I expect. there are things I feel should be answered soon as requested.
2 people that mean a lot in my life, get attacks and I get scared quickly and don’t get words together to pray that STRONG quickly answered prayer.
thanks for motivation and inspiration on this path.
That is the real heart of prayer, isn’t it. It changes us, our demeanor, our attitude, so God can move with us and around us and we will be able to see it/feel it.
Agreed! Hugs!
Margaret,
This is the perfect message as Thanksgiving approaches. I’m trying to be more attentive to being grateful instead of praying so may “give me” prayers. I love your phrase, “Thank you, God, just as it is”.
Thank you for sharing, Diane! Hugs!
Such an important reminder to “with thanksgiving, submit your requests to God”. Thank you Margaret!
Yes! It can be hard to keep that in focus, though. Hugs!
Thank you ??
Wow this was powerful. Yes I need to hear this. Thank you for sharing
So happy it touched your heart. Hugs!
Dearest Margaret, thank you so much for sharing. These words are for me as well. I’m having a “come apart” as I read this. My prayer now: Thank you God, just as it is, please continue to heal my heart”. Getting ready to write this in my journal! <3
Prayers of healing over you, Dana! Huge hug!
There is something to be said about contentment. No expectations…only peace and joy.
So true, Donna! Hugs!
There is something to be said for contentment. No expectations – just peace and joy!
Every time I read your words (albeit inconsistently) they hit me right where I’m hurting and offer beautiful solace that only comes from Jesus.
So thanks.
Thank you for sharing, Heather! So grateful to hear that Jesus meets you where you are! Hugs!
Two months ago, I was in perfect health….I thought. But God knew otherwise and He sent me to my doctor who sent me quickly to a cardiologist. Now, 2 months and a multitude of tests later, I face open heart surgery to repair an aortic aneurysm among other things. Until last week I was praying and asking everyone who would talk to me for God to direct the hands of my surgeon and his medical team. I have no doubt He already has that under control. Then sudden last week I wondered what He wanted for me to learn through this experience. So lovely that you have just clarified that!
Wow! I am in awe at your spirit in the midst of your trial. May the Lord surround you with His presence! Huge hug!
Facing a divorce with a 2 & 4 year old, stay at home 45 year old mom and I’m trying to figure out how to apply this when I’m facing such a catastrophe. Not sure where we’ll live and how I’ll support these 2 little ones since support isn’t enough. I’m trying to find a way to be thankful when it’s all falling apart. It’s been months and I don’t feel like God is hearing any of my cries. I have faith in God but I’m running out of time.
Hey Nicole, I am 6 years into my divorce and I can completely understand where you are coming from. I feel your stress. I am the non-resident parent which is so tough, I nearly went bankrupt, I lost my home, I had to move 1.5 hrs away to a county to be closer to my children, I’ve been to court countless times and maybe going again…… but this test is all that it is, it has bought me closer to God. I’m still sad and healing, but I realised my tears are not going unnoticed. Over the years I have become a better mum, started my own business, found my faith again, am going to support a homeless shelter. I am sure God has blessed me more than I will ever know. Time never runs out. God’s timing is always perfect even though we may not see it that way. Keep the faith, God is working it out for you.
Thank you for the sweet words of encouragement, Sarah! Hugs!
Sweet Nicole! Praying for peace in this unsettling time and for people to raise up in support of you. Huge hug!
It was so nice to see you at Leading and Loving It! It was a wonderful week!
Lalaloved that event! Hugs!
When the world tells us, “this must change, you’re not enough, you’re just too much, you’re broken!”, this repositions our eyes …and our hearts to what He has already done! Thank you Father, Thy will be done!
Last night I prayed glorious mysteries instead of joyful so how should I pray today.