Leif began singing a song over me soon after we were married.
This was no ordinary song.
The refrain lacked melody, harmony, rhyme.
Perhaps it wasn’t a song at all, except to me.
We were newlyweds in our late twenties. We felt late to the marriage game back then.
That seems silly now, but the social stigma felt real.
Leif was the oldest of three brothers but the last to get married.
We both experienced always a bridesmaid and groomsman but never a ….
Grandmother told me every Valentine’s Day that I’d become an old maid. I think she meant well.
The first year of marriage abounded with joy and tears.
We were broke.
And I was proud of it.
When I’d first met Leif, he had $19479 in student loans. I told him that I wouldn’t marry him unless he was out of debt.
If the wedding day arrived and he wasn’t at zero, I’d say no.
He found a better paying job, moved back in with his parents, rode a bike, and worked overtime. He scrimped and saved.
Nine months later we were married.
We didn’t have anything—including debt—and together we discovered what my Jewish daddy had taught me years before.
Zero is a powerful number.
Long before there was Dave Ramsey(berg), there was Bill Feinberg. He taught me well.
To save up for a down payment on a house we bounced around Sitka, Alaska, housesitting for an entire year.
One job lasted four months. The remaining lasted a few weeks or a handful of days.
Fancy and moderate homes, trailers, dorm rooms, and shacks became our residence for an entire year.
We never knew where we would sleep next. We prayed and waited.
At the last possible moment, we’d overhear someone talking at the gas station or grocery story about needing someone to watch their dog or cat or iguana.
Leif repacked the car and we’d settle into our next location in awe of God’s provision.
All the jostling and tumbling accentuated our differences.
We discovered our communications skills were a lot like our bank account. Zilch.
Navigating the newlywed expectations took hard work. From the kitchen to the bathroom counter (which I took over) to the bedroom, every room in our life required discussion, negotiation, renegotiation.
Moving didn’t help.
All those rooms were constantly changing. We were changing too.
Those growing pains took tears. Sometimes those tears flowed so hot and heavy I wondered if we’d make it through. The fact I burnt the pancakes meant the end, end, end.
Oh, the joys of living with a creative.
Leif mastered the fine art of pulling me out of my despair. He wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug and whispered in my ear…
I’m never letting go. I love you. I picked you and I’m so grateful you picked me. You saying, “yes” is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thank you for saying “yes.” I’m the luckiest man in the whole world.
Without melody, this became the song Leif sang over me.
He’s been singing it ever since.
I soon learned the chorus.
I love my life with you. Thank you so much for picking me. There’s no one I’d rather live this life with.
As we close in on 14 years of marriage, we don’t wait for the hard or sad or mad or bad to whisper these words.
We sing them in the morning with crispies in the corners of our eyes and in evening after a brutal day’s work.
Thank you for choosing me. There’s no one I’d rather do this (life) with. Thank you for saying “yes.” I’m the luckiest in the whole world.
Somewhere along the way I suspect this song has become a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude and joy and delight with each other, for each other.
My hope and prayer for you today is that you will sing a song of thanksgiving and blessing over those you love most.
But before I go, may I sing one over you?
You are a gift. You bring me such joy. You challenge me. You encourage me. You nurture me. You make my life better by simply being you. Thank you, sweet friend, thank you for entering my life and staying with me. I love living life with you.
Thank you for singing a song of love over me this morning Margaret what a sweet gift of friendship
I, too, have a love who had been singing over me for 35 years ….”you are my sunshine my only sunshine”…. we are blessed woman indeed. I am 74?
I love this story! Life is a journey with many bumps in the road but if you have a spouse that loves you and a Heavenly Father that watches over you, you are indeed blessed. I will have my 54th anniversary in June and we dated 5 years before that. Thank you for filling my cup today Margaret.
Thanks for sharing Colleen! What a great song 🙂
Margaret, thanks for sharing. 🙂
I appreciate the sweet encouragement. My husband and I are approaching our 9th anniversary. It’s taken almost a decade, but I feel like we are finally starting to really cherish each other.
You are such a dear person and I pray God bless you and your husband deeply.
Thank you for the prayers! Huge hug!
Thanks, Margaret, for the (Maine) friend you are! You always uplift me with your messages, your insights, your studies. And thanks for encouraging me about my partner– marriage always takes work, even after almost 32 years!
Thank you Margaret. Gina and I have been married 41 years. Our story is similar to yours.
Also, thank you for the writing class. I’ve been journaling since 1969. It’s where I find my sanity and strength. You’re helping me understand how to write to others from a loving, generous heart.
Thank you, Margaret, for sharing Leif’s song and for singing over me. When life’s hard, what a blessing it is to have someone on your side, by your side! My husband and I have been married for 41+ years. I love him so and I still marvel at how much he loves me.
When I think of you, I think of chocolate and Bible study. That dates back to special day at Ridgecrest, the day I first met you and Leif. Looking forward to hearing from you again soon.
What a beautiful song and refrain! We have been married 48 years and even this very morning we were repeating our thankfulness for each other and how much richer our lives are for the journey together with Christ..
Dear Margaret, I heard you speak a few weeks ago at a church in Massachusetts and in my heart we’ve become instant best friends. I’m reading your books and can’t wait for the Philippians study to start! I love your writing and your heart and I love this post. I’ve discovered after almost 36 years of marriage that it gets sweeter with age. The joy I find in just sitting beside my husband enjoying the sunshine on a lazy Sunday afternoon is my “happy place.”
Keep writing! You are a blessing!
The youngest of my 3 kids will be the first to be married June 3. This story captures the essence of what I want to write to him as one of my deepest hopes for him and for my soon-to-be daughter in law.
Thank you Margaret for sharing the love you and your husband have for one another. When my husband and I got engaged, many said our marriage wouldn’t last a year. We had both been married twice before. This past March we celebrated 37 years. There have been many struggles and we were on the verge of divorce in 2009 when my husband came close to death several times. Through that traumatic time, God saved our marriage and answered many prayers I had been praying for several years. God gave me a husband who truly loves me and reminds me often how Jesus loves me … he’s always forgiving me. I will so be 73!
Thank you for your example of faithfulness in marriage and I relationship with Jesus in good times and bad. Love the Jewish blessing you extended to me
Thank you, Margaret. Such a vivid reminder! Rosi and I celebrate 45 years together in June, sharing it now with two sons, their wives, and six incredible grandchildren. My desire is to encourage others as you have done, to lift up, to cheer people on whatever their station in life, whatever their hopes, whatever their history.
David urges us to cast our burden on the Lord to know his sustaining power. “Burden” identifies what God has given us, our lot, our circumstances. We simply cast or throw back on him our lot, our burden. My passion urges me to both experience this and come alongside others with their burdens. You have modeled this well, Margaret. Thank you!
Love that story! My husband and I had a rough first year adjusting to marriage as we both were strong-willed and very independent. Of course, we had loads of baggage too! But we had a covenant to each other and were too stubborn to give up (all though at times I wondered if we would make it). Well, I am full of joy to say that our marriage has grown and we have matured with our Lord and Saviors help. This year will be 33 years! Praise the Lord! Thanks for singing over us this morning! Let me do the same for you, “You are a blessing and a friend in our times of need. You teach us truth with love and are appreciated more than you know. “
How precious you both are!
God has been nudging this exact message since the beginning of this year. As the middle of the year approaches, I’ve been a little negligent in keeping my new habit of speaking blessings over my loved ones and myself. This sweet note was a gift reminding me to continue. I am so thankful to read your stories and get to know you personally. I wish I could take you to Heritage House Coffee Shop. We would be besties…I just know it! Today I will sing blessings over my family and thank God for you as well. Love, Janell
Thank you Janell! Sounds like a great little coffee shop 🙂
Thank you for sharing such a great, vulnerable, sincere and sweet story with me. It gives me hope that one day I may find that special someone God has for me. I appreciate how genuine you are. Meeting you at the Bloom Women’s conference last month in Massachusetts was such a blessing. I look forward to continued learning and growth from you & reminders of how I need to remain steadfast in my faith to keep living my life & flourishing despite any challenges. God Bless you! – Stephanie
Margaret, thank you for your joy and sweetness. I feel I know you and yet it’s only been though your words at Bible Studies, guest appearence (Los Gatos at Staycation). You are precious and have a wonderful way with words. thanks you for your song, I’m going to do that over those I love, mainly my great nieces whom I’m blessed to have in my life. I shall be praying for you and your ministry as you continue to touch lives in deep, loving, caring way.
Blessings of Joy! Margaret
Sweet!!!! Thank you. Dreaming of the day when I get to sing that song to someone and have it sung back….
Thank you for sharing this personal information. Your man is so sweet (much like my man). There aren’t many of them around. We are both so blessed! I do thank God for my husband almost every single day since we were married 17 years ago. It takes a special man to walk with his woman through cancer. May God bless you and Leif for many more years to come.
Margaret and Leif, I’ve seen you both in action. I remember observing the beauty of two entangled souls so deeply celebrating one another. It was obvious that you were and are so united. I remember sharing with my husband how impacted I was to meet you both and how gorgeous your love was for one another. The song, the song is so sweet. Thank you for sharing this. May your love for each other continue to grow deep.
xo
Beautiful! Great reminder! I don’t know if I’ll sing but I will tell my hubby these words tonight. 🙂
Thank you Margaret for sharing…. very uplifting.
I wonder if you could enlighten me. I know that to really access God that you open the door with thanksgiving and praise, just how do I do this? I feel so inadaquit. Where and how do I begin?
Thank you
Awwww!!! You are one of the most beautiful friends God has ever given me! I don’t tell you enough but I love you and thank God for you each day!
Love your 5 ft pumped up, fired up, super excited for the King of Kings and Lord of Lord friend with whom you share a birthday,?
Alicia