My mom and dad sold everything and moved to Panama two weeks ago. Not bad for 70- and 74-year olds. Here’s what happened…
Free-spirited adventurers, they decided to nestle into an ex-pat community for their last whahhooo. They’ve whahoooed most their life, many of the adventures described in The Organic God.
I grew up thinking that living in Appalachia, spearing lobsters while living on a sailboat, and rehanging bikinis in your parents surfshop—all by the age of 9—was normal. I thought everyone’s parents moved because they were restless and needed a new adventure. So what if I never learned to play kickball.
All that moving—from Cocoa Beach, Florida, to the Exumas, Bahamas, to Maggie Valley, North Carolina, to Steamboat Springs, Colorado, and other places between expanded my horizons.
My parents bestowed a rich legacy of adventuring to me.
But in just a few days families will gather round tables and talk and share and bicker and reminiscence. My parents in Panama. Us in Utah. And that’s okay.
Why?
Because they are being embraced by an ex-pat family of friends. And we will celebrate together another year.
Plus, we have family, here, too. They aren’t blood relatives. We share no DNA. These precious saints have taken us in. They’ve welcomed us arms wide open, hearts wide open.
Shortly after we moved here, one particular couple boldly announced, “Your parents aren’t here, so we’re going to be your parents.”
I felt like I didn’t have a choice in the matter, and truth be told, I didn’t want one.
My response, “Yippee!”
They’ve done just that. This family has taken us under their wing as their own and I’ve loved every moment.
Why is this so important you and me?
Because sometimes our definition of family is too narrow. We think of family in terms of bloodline, heritage, last name. But the New Testament reminds us the ultimate family is the family of God.
My friend, Jonathan Merritt, in his upcoming book, Learning to Speak God from Scratch: Why Sacred Words Have Vanished—And How We Can Revive Them, explains:
“Family can describe a group of humans who claim each other and are committed to each other and, if Christian, are jointly intent on witnessing to the glory of Christ.”
Families sometimes share DNA but sometimes not.
Families may include biological children, foster children, adopted children, or those who are childless.
Families may include neighbor’s kids, friend’s kids, or your kid’s friends’ friends. (Yes, you may need to read that twice).
Families may include orphans, single-parents, or ex-pats.
Families aren’t determined by socio-economic status, ethnicity, or nationality.
Families are defined by those who fling open the doors of their hearts, the doors of their lives.
As we approach Thanksgiving, Advent, and Christmas, my hope and prayer is that you will fling open yourself to compassion like never before. That you’ll make room for those are new, different, and not appear to fit perfectly at first glance. My hunch is that those are people and lives—including your own—where God may be at work the most.
And that somewhere along the way your family will grow and blossom into all God intends.
As for us, we’re joining a family that’s taken us in and we’ve already warned them with the RSVP…we have a plus one or two or three.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Don’t forget Advent starts on December 3. Our stock on Celebrate Wonder and Joy: 25 Advent and Christmas Devotionals will run out soon. Or your copies today and spread the Christmas joy.
And if you order a 10-pack of Celebrate Wonder and Joy, you’ll receive a free pack of Jesus is the Best Present Ever Christmas cards.
Good morning and Blessings! You took me back to 1985 when we moved to Ft Wayne with our 3 children who had never been away from family. Basically we cried all the way there. Close to Christmas we received a box of “goodies” from grandma and we were so excited to receive our favorites but grandma had gone “healthy” and didn’t make the normal favorites – we all cried again. On Christmas morning we opened our gifts and then looked at each other like “what are we going to do now”? We were used to having family all around us on holidays – we cried again. When the next Christmas came I decided we were not going to repeat the previous scenario so invited other Seminary families who were not going home to fill our home and share Christmas with us. It was such a blessing to all of us. We were all lonely and missing our DNA families but that day we all felt we had added to our families and those bonds have remained throughout the yrs. God has blessed us with many people over the years we feel are part of our “family”. Thank you for this reminder. Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your “family” – whether by DNA or those given to you throughout your life. Blessings!
Lalalove that you found a family of friends that has lasted for years! Hugs!
Hi Margaret,
Your article reminds me of Thanksgivings when my sister and I were growing up. We had no aunts or uncles living nearby, so my parents invited a hodgepodge of people to celebrate the day with us: our grandpa who was a widower, my great-uncle who never married, my dad’s cousin who was divorced, a couple of farmers who were bachelors, etc.
They were a group of people who had nowhere else to go, and I cherish the memories of everyone getting together for a delicious meal and great conversation.
Blessings to you, too, Margaret for all you do to uplift our spirits!
Sounds like a wonderful hodgepodge to me! Hugs!
Thanks for sharing and Happy Thanksgiving!
Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful!
Hi Margaret!
We are also a part of an ex-pat community. Fourteen months ago, my husband took a job on the beautiful Japanese island of Okinawa. Last year’s Thanksgiving was made good only by the presence of dear friends who invited us to Thanksgiving dinner. When we left America, we left our 2 adult children there and my heart broke. God had prepared the way for us by having good friends still here that we knew 25 years ago. These friends took us under their wing and welcomed us with open arms, hearts and homes. I am forever grateful to God for them and for new friends who are just as welcoming. Even better was the sweet family back home that invited my children to celebrate Thanksgiving in their home. God bless you for keeping things real and focused on God from Whom all blessings flow.
What a blessing to know your children are being loved on during the holidays! Huge hug!
Thanks. I needed this. I grew up with my family spending holidays together. While we were crazy dysfunctional, those times are cherished memories when family meant, well, family. I grew up, had kids and instilled those same traditions. Those kids are grown and all over the world no where near me. And this year, my husband and I are separated and our last 2 youngest kids (who are actually his that I’ve raised with him) are with him. I live in a room in a home with a single mom and her teenage son. She’s invited me to be with them, and I’m so grateful, but my heart would rather go away and pretend the holidays don’t exist this year. I want to find God in the midst of it all when my family isn’t around, and I can’t seem to bring myself to embrace the craziness of someone else’s family. Thanks for helping me look for what God has in this, be open to what he wants to orchestrate and remember that it’s not all about me.
Praying He redeems the holidays for you, Laura! Hugs!
Sweet Margaret you are just too precious! You are like a sister to me. You’re such an amazing person and I love you dearly! Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!! Bennett blows you hugs and kisses!
I love that God gives us family outside of our bloodline!
Love
Alicia
Thank you for the beautiful words of encouragement, Alicia! Hugs!
Thank you, again, for reminding me that it’s not all about me! We have ALWAYS gone to my mom’s in Ohio for Thanksgiving, but this year we aren’t able to go. I am so sad about that 🙁 not only for me, but mostly for my 87 year old mom. She still has my brother and other family members, so that helps. It just won’t be the same not being there, so we will stay in Virginia and have our own small Thanksgiving, of which I am very grateful for. Have a very Happy and Joyful Thanksgiving!
Sweet Sandi, change can be so difficult especially when it comes to family traditions. Praying you have a joyous holiday season, though, with new traditions! Hugs!
I remember one Thanksgiving while in seminary when there were many of us who had nowhere to go to gather with family for a meal. At the request of the Student Activities department I organized and hosted a meal with all the goodies at the community house near the campus. We came together at the table as family. Your post brought back memories of that wonderful time together.
That does sound wonderful, Karen! Hugs!
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