In a fast and furious 18 days, Leif, Hershey, and I packed up our home in Denver, sold our furniture on Craigslist, said “I’ll be seeing you” to our life-long friends, and moved to Salt Lake City, Utah in September. (You can read more about our crazy-pants move, here).

I would be lying to you if I told you this transition has been butterflies and rainbows.

Don’t get me wrong. Leif is flourishing in his new position at Capital Church, and I love being able to serve alongside him in our local church. I’m discovering new hikes in the rugged mountains of Utah. We’re exploring our new city—trying out new restaurants, coffee shops, and scenic drives.

But there is something rattling about moving to a new city.

I moved around a lot growing up—many stories you’ve read about in Hungry for God, The Organic God, and The Sacred Echo. From the oceans of south Florida to the hills of North Carolina, the snowcapped mountains of Steamboat Springs to the glaciers of Sitka, Alaska, I’m no stranger to packing up and starting over with a new city, new home, new adventures.

But making new friends is downright hard. I so want my new relationships to have immediate depth and comfort, ease and trust.

Friendship is one gift of God you can’t live without.

I’m reminded of that whenever I get to spend an afternoon hiking with a dear friend, sitting on the couch chatting for hours, or hanging out and laughing until tears run down my cheeks (and other places).

I miss being able to call up my life-long bestie, Carol, to stuff our bellies with our favorite street tacos, go window shopping, or snag a discounted Groupon for skydiving on a whim.

The truth is:

Developing healthy and vibrant friendships takes time and intention.

You may have to risk feeling awkward, step out on a limb, join that small group you’ve been considering, pull away from the comfort of your home to engage with your neighbors.

I know one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned throughout my many moves is my tendency to invite people into my home, but not into my life.

I hold people at arms length.

I share about my life—but nothing personal.

I quickly turn questions around on them.

I change the subject whenever the conversation gets too intimate.

I stick to shallow, neutral topics, and disappear whenever it gets too involved.

But if I want my acquaintances to blossom into friendships, I need to let people in.

While it may take many more months—most likely years—to discover and cultivate deep friendships in my new city, I’m hopeful. And in the meantime, I’m grateful I can send Carol silly GIFs and emojis whenever I’m missing her.

Through choosing to be fully present with someone, we can experience many wonders. Spend a few moments reflecting on your schedule for the week.

Who could you spend a half-hour or hour with and be fully present, fully yourself?

Maybe you have a coworker you could invite to lunch. Or one of your children who you haven’t been able to give full attention to lately. Find a place and a time—whether it’s in your dining room or living room or a park or coffee shop—where you can be fully yourself and warm your soul in the glow of both knowing and being known.’

I’m going to reach out to one of my acquaintances in Salt Lake City, in hopes of cultivating that friendship.

Join us this week during the online summer Bible study as we explore how to have the difficult conversation, recognize healthy relationships, and guard your friendships.

Your #LiveWonderstruck challenge this week?

• SPEND time with someone you want to get to know better. Schedule time together this week—grab coffee, lunch, take a walk. Use the list of 7 questions from page 108 in the workbook as a conversation starter. Snap a photo of your two smiling faces or give a shout out to the person online.
• WATCH. Session 5: The Wonder of Friendship on the Wonderstruck DVD (22 min)
• WRITE. Complete Week 5: The Wonder of Friendship in the Wonderstruck Participant’s Guide Workbook (pages 106-131)
• READ. Read “.007 Magic in the Table” in the Wonderstruck book (pages XX to XXX)
• INTERACT. Share your #LIVEWONDERSTRUCK moments on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Leave your thoughts at MargaretFeinberg.com. Share the wonders of God you encounter this week.
• GATHER. Set a time to meet with your small group face-to-face, schedule a Skype date with your long-distance friends, and join the online community on Wednesday, June 8th at MargaretFeinberg.com.

Tell us a little about your best friend. What do you appreciate most about your BFF?

What’s something you struggle with when it comes to friendships?

Recognize a friendship you cherish. Upload a photo, phrase, or shout out of love to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or your blog. Don’t forget to tag your friend and use hashtag #LIVEWONDERSTRUCK so we can see and celebrate those relationships together.