Last summer, Leif and I decided to play nine-holes with some friends in the mountains of Colorado. We hooted and hollered with laughter the entire time. We had so much fun we decided to play again and again.
What I’ve discovered, and my friend Jonathan Merritt said so eloquently, is that I don’t love golf as much as I love golf culture. Being outside, looking at beautiful vistas, eating a burger at the clubhouse, hearing the magical clank of the ball falling in the cup—these sights and sounds make the culture of golf delightful.
But if you take golf to seriously, the sport can lose its fun. Joy and playfulness are soon replaced by frustration and seriousness. A stinky attitude on the golf course fumes in all directions—no matter which way the wind is blowing.
I’m convinced we all need a sport or activity that we’re absolutely terrible at in every way. We need a place of hilarity in life where laughter and enjoyment trump scorecards and results. Such a place allows us to rediscover the wonder of playfulness.
I’ve decided to take up Red Neck Golf. This is the lowest form of golf, and I’m still in the process of writing the unofficial rules. Here’s are some of the doodles from my rough draft:
1. Scoring for Red Neck Golf is different from regular golf. Take the par for the hole, double the number, and add one. That’s par for the Red Neck Golfer.
2. Every Red Neck Golfer needs something besides their score as a goal. Suggestions include: Landing a date for the single golfer, finding more balls than you lose during a single round, rescuing at least six balls from the water traps, eating the entire bag of Cheetos, or not losing your special translucent pink ball.
3. Every Red Neck Golfer’s cart must carry a cooler. Sweet, salty and savory snacks are a requirement along with ice-cold beverages. A Diet Dr. Pepper between hole four and hole five makes everything in red neck golf better. The first person to find a phone to call ahead for a burger at the clubhouse gets to subtract two points from their score.
4. Red Neck Golfers can’t pay more than $30 for a round of golf. Anything above $30 means you’re really a Blue Collar Golfer. I’ll leave it up to Jeff Foxworthy to explain the difference between a Red Neck Golfer and a Blue Collar Golfer. But above $30 a round and golf courses don’t tend to appreciate the fine a-country-ments of the Red Neck golfer.
What other unofficial rules would you suggest for Red Neck Golf?
*Photo courtesy of here
- Recognize the presence of God in the midst of your routine
- Discover peace in knowing you’re wildly loved
- Identify what’s holding you back in prayer
- Develop a renewed passion for God
- Celebrate the extraordinary moments in everyday life