Over the past few years, I’ve had well-meaning people speak life, hope, and love into me during the some of the darkest days of battling cancer. Their words were Honeycrisps dipped in 24-karat gold served on silver platters (poetic translation a la Proverbs 25:11).
Other words are like gut punches, leaving me breathless, hunched, hurting.
These individuals never mean to cause harm, they mean to help, really they do, but the pat answers, the Scriptures ripped out of context, the spouting of phrases they’d never paid a price to own, cut me to my core. I share this with great vulnerability in Fight Back With Joy book and 6-Session DVD Bible Study.
Shortly after my diagnosis, my friend, Angela Thomas, texted me encouraging Scriptures every few weeks. I’m so grateful for her ongoing presence. She mentioned that when her momma grew ill, people mailed cards. Her momma saved them in a basket. On her weakest days she’d look at the basket and remember how much she was loved.
Angela’s story compelled me to save my cards. All of them. Yes, the ones you sent. The basket overflowed. Whenever I glanced over, I, too, was reminded of how much I was loved.
Some of the cards were plain or of stock photos. Others struggled to say anything life-giving. They read, “In sympathy,“ and “I’m sorry for your loss.” The handwritten words inside breathed life, but many of the pre-written cards felt out-of-place, penned for those who had loved ones die rather than those who were in an ongoing fight for their lives.
I started to browse through greeting card aisles, wondering how hard it really was to find a well-written card. Few to none of the cards were written for people with ongoing crisis, loss or adversity, and those available were wah-wah.
One day I’ve got to create some cards that will breathe life and hope and love, I thought.
After more than a year of treatment, I woke up at 2am. The words for the cards glimmered in my imagination. Unable to fall back asleep until I’d recorded them, I captured them like fireflies in the night.
The next morning I noticed a letter from a long-time friend and steady encourager, Judy Higginbotham, sat atop my desk. She wrote:
“You know when you go to a card shop to get a card for someone who has cancer or for anyone with an illness that is long, there truly are no cards to send them. A get-well card is in very poor taste, and the rest are so meaningless that they just leave you empty.
What if you made gift cards, with words inside, words that gave you comfort and hope and joy and peace? I do not know if this is me or God working through me. But I am passing it onto you.”
The timing felt God-ordained, Spirit-infused.
Our team has been working to make these cards a reality. Today, I’m thrilled to announce the first set of When You Don’t Know What to Say greeting cards are available in our store.
We’ve worked with an artist to create modern, bright n’ beautiful designs. Each of the six cards is designed to encourage and inspire. Some are written with a good dose of humor; others are created to rekindle relationships. All are designed to equip you to help those facing tough times fight back with joy.
Order your set of When You Don’t Know What to Say greeting cards during our Big Spring Sale—going on now at MargaretFeinbergStore.com. Break the silence with those in your life facing difficulties starting today.
Love love love!!!
…but the pat answers, the Scriptures ripped out of context, the spouting of phrases they’d never paid a price to own, cut me to my core… Such a powerful sentence…. Oh I wish I could say I have not been guilty of this…but Grace is teaching me a better way… silence can be way more comforting and powerful than plastic words… and yes… speak words that have only grown from deep in a soul… words that have been oxygen to me when I thought I couldn’t take another breath. I will jump over to check out your cards… good cards are hard to find!!!!
Ro, Same thing– reminds me of all the times I’ve said the wrong thing at the most inopportune times. No one told me how to best love and serve those going through difficult circumstances. Huge hug, friend.
Well done! They are very pretty. I wonder if you could tell us what they say inside?
You can see all the insides, here: http://www.margaretfeinbergstore.com/products/fight-back-with-joy-set-of-6-greeting-cards
This is a fantastic idea. I have encountered this problem of not being able to find cards for people with severe health issues or unfortunately even terminal. If I may a suggestion. I would love to find cards that do not have so much familiarity, we are not best friends we are casually acquainted and I’m thinking of you,praying for you. Just a idea. Thank you.
Great idea, Donna! We also can send a set of 6 of one of these individual cards, if one stands out to you. You can email jessica@margaretfeinberg.com, and she will help you out.
Margaret, The cards are a Fantastic Idea!! I wish they were around when my mom had breast cancer and lung cancer. I prayed to always say the right things to her. I agree a lot of times you don’t know what to say. Even as her caretaker and best friend I found myself at times at a loss for words. I remember when she lost her hair she was devastated I had no words so I got the hair shaver and began shaving my hair. I wanted to show support and let her know that bald is beautiful. I got the back of my head done and she stopped me. I don’t know if it what I was doing calmed her down or what but she was okay after that. She wore a beautiful teal turbine. I would have shaved my whole head I’d do anything to support her. And yes I didn’t know what to say a lot of the times. So happy to see the cards! You’re an Amazing, inspiring, encouraging woman of god.
What a powerful story, Suzanne. Huge hug, friend.
I’m so thrilled to see these cards and more so the delicately chosen wording. A cancer survivor myself, it always amazed me how family/friends responded to my diagnosis, especially as it was touch and go and a long term treatment etc. And through this, I’m personally also finding it difficult to find the right words to express how I feel without possibly offending. Truly, there are only so many times you can stomach cliche statements when on the receiving end!!! Well done, I wish all the success.
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Are your “When You Don’t Know What to Say” greeting cards still available?