During Lent, people from around the world joined together to read the entire Bible in 40 Days. Don’t worry. You don’t need to wait until next Lent to read the Bible through—you can begin today! To download a free copy of the reading guide, click here.
After such an immersion into Scripture, it’s time to laugh and play.
Though friends in your small group may guffaw at your punny-ness, kids are more likely to laugh hard and share a few of their own. Here are 23 of the best Bible jokes and riddles:
Q. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
A. Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Q. Where was Solomon’s temple located?
A. On the side of his head.
Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It’s Christmas, Eve!
Q. How does Moses make his coffee?
A. Hebrews it.
Q. How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
A. By his net income.
Q. Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
A. Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.
Q. Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A. Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
Q. Who was the fastest runner in the race?
A. Adam, because he was first in the human race.
Q. Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
A. He thought he saw a job.
Q. What animal could Noah not trust?
A. Cheetah
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless.
Q. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
A. Quackers
Q. Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
A. Zaccheus.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Think these were funny? Check out the 23 Best Christian Pick-Up Lines.
What Bible joke have you heard that we can add to the collection? Leave your answer as a comment on this blog.
Resources:
- Fight Back with Joy
- Adult Coloring Book
- When you don’t know what to say: Greeting Cards
- Bible Joke Book
- Children’s Joke Book
Special thanks to the following sites for these jokes:
- http://quizlet.com/13486948/corny-bible-jokes-flash-cards/[MF3]
- http://www.slideshare.net/kensapp/bible-jokes
- http://kruszer.tripod.com/jokes.html
- http://www.adviceopedia.com/Funny_Bible_Questions
- http://www.you-can-be-funny.com/FunnyBibleQuestions.html
- http://www.joke-archives.com/spirit/bibleriddles.html
- http://www.revelation.co/2009/09/21/a-few-clean-bible-jokes-and-riddles-for-christians/
- http://thechurchofgroove.com/viewtopic.php?t=4637
- http://beansbaby.blogspot.com/2008/08/corny-bible-jokes.html
- http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060907201343AADb8m8
- http://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/trivia.htm
What was the first word out of Adam’s mouth when he first saw Eve? Whoa man! Thus, the word “woman” was created.
Love it, Greg!
Who was the largest woman in the Bible?
The woman at the well. It says she was a woman of “some area” (Samaria)!
How long did it take for Cain to forgive his brother?
Until he was Abel to.
As the three wise men entered the stable, one did hit his head on a low beam and called out, Jesus Christ!
Mary looked at Joseph and said unto him…. Verily, tis a much better name than Fred.
Who was the shortest man in the bible?
A. Bildad the shoe-height (shuhite)
Shorter than Knee-high-mia
No it was John, he slept on Jesus’ watch!
How long did it take Abraham to forgive his brother?
A Lot of years.
Some people think it is Nehemiah
And
Some people think that it is bildad
The SHOEheight
But I think it is Peter!
Because he slept…
ON HIS WATCH!
I think it is Peter!
Because he slept…
ON HIS WATCH!
Noah was the first to drive a rally as he came forth in his Triumph 🤭
When did King Solomon sing psalms unto the Lord?
When he was a Soloist of a man
(Solo-man)
(Solomon)
Why did Peter look down when he walked on water?
He had Sea legs.
One day in my imagination!
Is your name Zaccheus, little brother?
No I was a prophet,you might have heard of me?
Are you sure your not Zaccheus, you’re not ever so tall!
I’m not Zaccheus please believe me!
Very well, so just to finally confirm it. You didn’t climb a tree to see Jesus and then show hospitality to him.
No!
So despite being the shortest person we’ve seen today,
You’re not Zaccheus!
NEHEMIAH!
think it was from Woe-is-man jk 😛
Awkward Moment : John 4
*Earlier*
6 Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well.
8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
*40 Minutes later*
31 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”
32 But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”
I don’t know what
Here are a few I know:
Where was Noah when the lights went out?
In d’ark.
What is Adam and Eve’s least favourite word?
Insinuate.
Jesus said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.”
He came fifth and received a toaster.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Floodlights.
What about arc lights?
Sunday school teacher: “What is God’s name?”
Student: “ANDY! ”
Sunday school teacher: ” Why do you think that? ”
Stundent: ” Because in church we sing…. ” ANDY walks with me, ANDY talks with me…..
Of what occupation were the Wise Men?
The Bible says they came from a far..so they were Farmen!!
Who was the smallest man in the Bible?
Ans: Bildad the Shuhite (Job’s friend).
Smallest man in Bible was the man who slept on his watch, in Acts.
Why couldn’t Caun win God’s favor?
He just wasn’t Able!
Cain
Thought they were Israelites??
Hahahahaha hilarious
HOW DID THE CLOTHES IN THE WASHING MACHINE COME OUT WHITE AS SNOW?
THE “FILTHY RAGS” WERE BAPTISED.
ha ha ha you are funny
The first Rock Band, the Prophets of Baal.
The first Rock Song, “Come on Baal light my fire.”
This is a great joke.
This is great
thats how the word tRIBe came about
Thats cute, but I think it means : a man with a womb, hence “woman”
Madam I am Adam
The comment here already, “Madam I’m Adam may be the same when spelled backwards.
It is ‘woman’ because she was |wo|ven out of man.
Actually it’s “womb” and “man”, abbreviated “woman”.
Eve was made from a rib of Adam and so took on similar characteristics, but with the ability to bear children.
This joke was awesome
This joke deals with Moses and the burning bush incident. This was where God called Moses to come forth but unfortunately he tripped and came fifth
lol
God tells Noah to build a new Ark, “this time I want 20 decks not 3” “your the boss” says Noah ” I don’t want any animals I want you to fill it floor to ceiling with fish” ” carp to be exact” says God ” but why carp” says Noah “I want it to be a multi story carp ark” says God.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark. …. FLOODLIGHTS
Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? Pastor Bedtime
Who first smoked cigarettes in the Bible?
Ans: Rebecca (Gen 21:64) When she saw Isaac, she lighted off her camel ((KJV)
I don’t have a joke but… when my daughter was small (she is 19 now) her Sunday School Teacher told the kids they were going to talk about Moses and He asked “Who can tell me anything about Moses?”
To which my daughter replied with all the wisdom of her 3 years “He’s dead.”
Her teacher had a good chuckle… and so did we.
Tonya, kids say the darndest things 🙂
Moses is alive, appeared on Mt. Of Transfiguration
“MY servant Moses is dead” –God (Joshua 1:2)
He obviously did die but God raised him back up for a future work.
A friend’s 3 year old son had a similar question. After the teacher asked the question, she saw him talking to his seatmate and she called him to answer the question “Who is Moses?” The kid noticed everyone looking at him and just said, “Maybe he’s in the other classroom.” Teacher just laughed.
😀
My cousin’s only line in VBS was “Love one another”
He said “Love another one “
Who is the shortest man in the Bible?
Answer: (Not Zaccheaus, but…) Bildad the Shuhite! (Shoe-height!)
Nehemiah(knee high)
Peter! He slept on his watch! (Matthew 26:40)
Until now I thought it was Ne-high-miah (Nehemiah),
the philipian jailer because he slept on his watch.
Don’t forget Nehemiah (knee-hi-miah)
Who is the fattest lady in the Bible?
The woman of Samaria (some area)
How do you know that they had motorbikes in the Old Testament?
Because “the roar of David’s triumph was heard throughout Jerusalem”
This guy walks up to his friends and says: ” now I know who was crucified alongside Jesus, it was the Apostle Paul’s father, because Paul said ‘my old man was crucified…’ “
On a church message board: “Don’t worry if you feel like you can’t get it all together, Moses was a basket case too!”
Love this, Alison!
Who was the most evil man in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all ten commandments at ounce,
Did you know there was Pole Vaulting in the bible?
Yeah, Jesus cleared the temple.
There’s smoking in the Bible too.
Rachel lit off her camel.
There’s also a Honda.
They were all in one accord.
There was a cliff hanger of a baseball game in Acts…
…they were praying in the ninth.
These are all great, John! Thanks for adding to our list!
The Gumby one my husband likes – he always says aben dego when the name really is abed nego
are you sure
Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
Joseph: he was so straight, Pharao made him a ruler
How many “Apples” were there in the garden of Eden?
11: Eve ate (8), Adam too (2),and the devil won (1)
once*
Q. Who was the straightest man in the bible?
A. Joesph, the king made him a ruler.
Yes! I love that one. Hilarious!
?
Who is the biblical character who likes to drink sodas/soft drinks?
Answer: HABBA-COKE (Habakkuk)
What’s the smallest sin in the Bible?
Flee fornication.
Love this one
My son, 7 at the time, thought Pontius Pilate was the first exercise guy. (Pilates)
Hi! My friend Joane told me this church joke.
A priest was giving the Message to the first grade Sunday school class. He noticed a boy staring at his collar. He said to the boy, “I noticed you staring at my collar and I wonder if you know what it’s for.” The boy replied, “Yes, I know. It’s for fleas and ticks and it’s good for three months.”
What were lots last words to his wife? . . . Is someone following us ?
This one made me laugh out loud. Awesome.
Ahhaaa… okay true.
And she turned.
Why was Goliath so surprised when David slew him? A thing like that had never entered his head before.
How do we know moses had elastic skin?
Because he tide his ass to a tree and walked 2 leagues
LOOL!! omg
Why would you use a course word when your a Christian? You could have use the word “butt”. Not trying to be disobedient because I’m 13 but the way I’ve been brought up as a Christian we are never to say words like that.
Kaylea Melcher: Ass is not a curse word when used properly. It is in the bible and, the closest thing to it is the modern-day donkey.
I agree with you Kaylea. The word is used as a bad (curse, slang) word. It is not used here properly.
It’s not as funny if you have to explain it but here we go! To make the joke work, “ass” is the only appropriate word. Presumably, Moses tied his donkey/mule to a tree, but using the word “donkey” doesn’t work to explain his “elastic skin”. You also wouldn’t use the word “butt” because (again, presumably) Moses isn’t literally tying his butt to a tree– that would be silly. So the joke only works if you’re playing on the dual meaning of the word “ass”.
That being said, I’m pretty sure there’s no verse in the Bible where Moses ties his ass/donkey to a tree and then walks any distance, but it still makes for a good chuckle!
In this case that word refers to a donkey which is called an ass. It is not a curse word in this context. God Bless!
I truly appreciate seeing your conscientiousness, Kaylea! As I am sure you have noticed in some of the replies to your comment, “ass” can just mean “donkey.” This is true whenever the Bible uses the word. However, the joke made above is using a play on words to say Moses tied his donkey to a tree while also saying he tied his behind to a tree. I agree with you that as Christians, we should stand out from the world by how we speak and act. Here are some verses to consider on the subject:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear”–Ephesians 4:29
“Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”–Ephesians 5:4
“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”–Matthew 15:11
“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”–1 Timothy 4:12
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” –Philippians 4:8
Actually this would be considered a form of coarse joking which God dislikes because the word is being used to refer to Moses’ animal but also a slang word for butt. This actually wasn’t funny and I completely agree with her. Hey, I’m nobody and I’m not here to judge but consider this:
“Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
”
Ephesians 5:4
Kaylea is probably 19 now and ppl are still commenting lol. Just curious, are you still a faithful Christian?
who was the first barber in the bible ? (A) Mathew, because he mark, Luke and John.
Okay, I’m dense. Explain it.
Hi Kelly, I’d love it if you could please explain this joke.
Hi Kelly. Please would you explain this joke?
Hi Kelly,
Could you please explain this joke? Life is at stake.
a mark is when you go to a barber and get a small haircut, simply cutting the edges or ”marking ”them. gives the impression that matthew was a barber that give a small haircut luke and john. reading the first four books sounds like that
Who was the most elastic man in the Bible?
The prophet Ballum. He tied his ass to a tree and walked twenty miles.
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Ephesians 5:4 NIV
https://ephesians.bible/ephesians-5-4
Q: What is the only state of the United States to be mentioned in the Bible?
A: Moses looked out of the ark and saw (Arkansas).
Boy: “Mom, is it true that God formed man from the dust of the ground?”
Mom: “Yes, Johnny, that’s true.”
Boy: “And is the saying ‘Ashes to ashes and dust to dust’ also true?”
Mom: “Yes, that’s what the Bible says.”
Boy: “Well, then, you’d better come quick and look under my bed! I think someone’s either coming or going!”
Jesus walks into a bar… He really wants a glass of wine, but as He sits down He realizes that He doesn’t have any money, so what did He do? He just ordered a glass of water!
What love song did Jacob sing to Leah?
“Hey there DULLEYElah”
Who is the first Comedian on Earth?God is the first Comedian on Earth (Gen. 21:6 – and sarah said, ‘God had made me to laugh…’)
Very nice and thrilling. Here is one from me
Why did God spew out some Christians in revelation?
Because they were not salty.
here’s one that naturally came up in our teen school class so i reworded it and turned it into a joke.
Teacher: Naturally students, when men die they turn back into dust.
Student: Well why is that?
Teacher: Well because the Bible says that God created Adam from dust. So since man was created from dust, to dust they shall return.
Student: So when women die they turn into a rib?
a couple of drug related incidents in the bible..( moses coming down with the tablets and stephen got stoned to death)..
Nebuchadnezzar he was on grass for 7 years
Where’s the firt mention of “laxatives” in the Bible? Exodus, the part when “Mose took the tablets and went into the wilderness”…
That’s hilarious!
Nice
Do you need an arc?
I NOAH guy.
🙂
I get its funny, by the way do you no-ah a good bible
Are you aware that there is a Square Dance class in the Bible? The last verse of the book of Jonah in the Old Testament refers to 120,000 people that don’t know their left hand from their right hand….. That’s a square dance class !!!!
Was the greatest financier in the bible
pharos’s daghter she went down to the bank and pulled out a little prophet.
Then the prophet grew great, until it was able to bail-out the Jews!
(YOU CAN CONSIDER THIS AS A FACT)
Q:What came first, egg or chicken?
A: [Genesis 1:21] So God created great sea creatures and every living thing that moves, with which the waters abounded, according to their kind, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 🙂
Did you know MT. DEW is biblical? Judges 6:38 and it was so: for he rose up early on the morrow, and thrust the fleece together, and wringed the dew out of the fleece
Where is baseball in the Bible? Genesis 1:1 In the Big Inning.
Who in the
Bible came from a fire. The wise men. They came from a far…southern talk!!
How did Lot cause the death of his wife. He said, “Is any one following us, Honey?”
Hehe
I saw on Pinterest a picture of a salt and pepper shaker, on the shakers there was on Man and one Woman, it said “guess which one was the Woman”. It took me a minute to realize what they did there but once I did I was laughing like crazy 🤣
Hope you don’t have this one yet; but if you do oh well…
Do you know what kind of car the Philistines drove? A Honda…the Bible says that they were “all in one Accord”!
?
do you know that there are many types of human bein writin in the bible just like :one with big eye-isaiah :mental problem-colosians :sturbon-jonah:sea food-titus :big mouth-mathew call me @ 09091810033 for more details
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Able!
Also: The reason Cain never could quite please God with HIS offerings?? Because he just wasn’t Able….
I see from above that you got the shortest man in the Bible, Bildad the Shoe-hight, one of Job’s friends. But do you know the second shortest man in the Bible? It was Knee-high-miah (Nehemiah).
Haha!!
i think its not knee-high-miah but NICODEMUS.. because he was a RULER (12 inches) hahaha
Who was the most constipated person in the bible? Solomon – he was on the throne for 40 years….
nope, it was Satan, bound for a thousand years.
My personal favorite: “it’s pretty clear from the Buble that the apostle Paul was married. He asked God three times to remove the thorn from his flesh.”
People believe we came from Adam and Eve.Gay people believe they came from Adam and Steve.
Why was Titus scared of Philemom? Because He bruised James.
When was Star Wars first mentioned in the Bible?
Genesis 3, when God said, “May the curse be with you.”
How many pairs of animals did Moses take to the ark? None it was Noah not Moses
who was the greatest mathematician in the Bible
Moses he wrote Numbers
Who got dressed ‘fit to kill’? Jezebel (she painted her eyes before her death)
Who had a ‘hair raising’ experience that led to his death? Samson, Absalom
Who was the Irishman in the Bible? 1000th chapter of the Bible, also contains the most familiar verse in the chapter. John 3 Nick O’Demas
Who were the two ‘perfect’ men in the Bible? Jesus and Mark (Psalm 37:37)
The shortest man in the Bible was some guy who slept on his watch.
There is one old translation that speaks of Santa in the minor prophets: ‘Ho, Ho, Ho he who cometh from the North.’
Did Moses ever make it into the Promised Land? Yes, Mount of Transfiguration
The shortest man in the Bible was adam(atom)
Who was the best female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter – she went to the Bank of the Nile and withdrew a Prophet.
I really love this humor! I’ve taken several of these and made a design in my Zazzle store. Check it out: http://www.zazzle.com/seeing_scripture*/gifts?cg=196815268691898231
These are really clever. One of my favorites is God so loved the world, He did not send a committee!
Did you know that Jesus was a Dodge man?
He walked everywhere HE went.
Ahahaa… good one.
Where in the bible did the sun shine once and never again? Email me that answer, lol
Why did Peter deny Jesus three times?
Jesus healed Peter’s Mother-in-Law.
Matthew 8:14
Jesus was in the first baseball game. He preached the sermon on the mound.
Jesus never spoke of His own Honda, He said, “I did not speak of my own Accord.”
Q: When was an awkward moment in the Bible?
Jesus : “Do you want to be well?”
Man : “Sir, there is no one to help me get into the pool!
Awkward moment in the Bible.
People: “How then were your eyes opened?” they asked.
Man: He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. (Hillbilly voice)
Awkward Moment
*Earlier*
5 Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well.
8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
*40 Minutes later*
31 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”
32 But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”
Awkward Moment : Matthew 8
A man with a skin disease came to Jesus. The man bowed down before him and said, “Lord, you can heal me if you will.”
3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man and said, “I will. Be healed!”
Awkward moment : John 11
After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.”
12 His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.”
(13 Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.)
Awkward Moment
Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.
Why Peter denied Jesus 3 times?
Because Jesus heal Peters motherlaw
Why was Onan a lousy gardener? Because he spilled his seed.
How do we know fertilizer is in the bible
Because they always said lettuce spray #let us pray
Why did God make man before woman
Because he didn’t want any advice on how to do it
That’s pretty clever!!! Not to mention really funny!!!
lame jokes, i mean they arent even offensive at all…. i wouldnt even laugh at it.. its just too lame, it doesnt have any sort of funnyness in it
You obviously came to the wing website busy.
“Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.”
Ephesians 5:4 NIV
https://ephesians.bible/ephesians-5-4
This isn’t really a joke but was very cute. I was teaching First/Second graders in Sunday Scool. We were talking about God testing Abraham having asked him to kill his son. Then, as you may know, the angel appeared and told him he didn’t have to kill him. A boy in the class was trying to tell his mom about class and asked me to repeat the story; he then looked at his mom and exclaimed, “Abraham was set up!”
Which two insects are mentioned in the Bible? The widow’s mite, and the wicked flee (flea).
Was basketball ever played in the Bible? Yes, when David dribbled in his beard.
Who was the best business woman in the Bible? Pharoah’s daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
Pharoah’s daughter went to the bank of the Nile.
So, most of us have heard the one about baseball being mentioned in the Bible (Genesis 1:1 – In the Big Inning, God created….), but did you know that a baseball PLAYER was actually mentioned in the Bible?
According to Exodus 4:2 in the KJB, when God asks Moses what he’s holding in his hand, Moses replies by saying “A Rod!”
Who’s character in the Bible that almost killed 1/4 of the population?..
cain killed quarter of he pupulation
I would like to be sent one bible riddle each day to my e-mail address. How can I set this up?
Toni Braun
Baseball comes up again when Ruth walked to the well with a pitcher.
A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: how bout you go brew us some coffee?
Wife: that’s your job.
Hasband: says who?
Wife : the bible, it’s on just about every page
Husband: the bible don’t say anything about brewing coffee
Wife:(Holding her Bible flipping pages) see every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews
Why do we have to be quiet in church?
Because people are sleeping!
A conversation among my Children’s Church a while back.
A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, “My mommy has a baby in her belly!” The little boy next to her was mortified! “Why did your mommy eat a baby!”
“And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best”
Sony 16:9
Look up “rib” in the dictionary and it says “To vex, irritate or annoy.”
Look up “rib” in the Bible and it says “Woman.”
Coincidence?
A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning.
The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.
The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job.
The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it.
The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it.
She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said “Hebrews”
The Bible says I’ll pay for my sins.
I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don’t come free.
What was the world’s first palindrome?
Madam, I’m Adam
Who is the first man mentioned in the Bible?
Chap 1
And here’s something that’s kind of like a joke in the Bible from the first chapter of John.
Philip: “We have found him of whom Moses in the law and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”
Nathaniel: “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Ba-dum
Jesus’ reply to Nathaniel is equally hilarious to me: “Look, a Jew that doesn’t lie!” They traded personal verbal jabs, cultural humor, and were probably great friends after that. I LOVE Jesus’ sense of humor. But almost no one reads the Bible, revealing it like that.
What did they say when Jesus rose on the third day. HE’S ALIVE!
Who was the only Irishman in the bible?
Nic O’Demus
Nope! O’Badiah!
Even PMS is mentioned in the Bible. The Bible says Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Bethlehem!!?
Ray Curl, it could not have been PMS (premenstrual syndrome) since Mary was already pregnant at the time they traveled to Bethlehem
You have this question on YOUR website: Q. Which Bible Character is a locksmith? with the answer: Zaccheus. Where in the Bible is the scripture reference for this question and answer, please? Thank You.
I think they might have a play on words..Zach key us.
Heres something Beth, Zach has a key for us.
Very Nice
I always thought that sin came into this world because of ‘the apple up in the tree’.
More recently I discovered it was not because of the ‘apple up in the tree’ but because of the ‘pair’ in the ground.
What about that skin stretching part in the bible where Moses tied his Ass to a tree and then walked 10 miles.
Jesus heard a commotion and came over where the crowd was getting ready to stone a prostitute that had been caught in the act. Jesus said, “Let the first stone be thrown by someone who has never sinned”
Suddenly, a rock comes flying over the crowd. Jesus turned, looks and then comments. “Mother!!”
Which prophet had a wonky face? Isaiah, becaise one Isaiah (eye’s higher) than the other.
PS. An American friend tells me that Americans prounouce Isaiah differently and so this joke doesn’t work in American English.
Thank you for the valuable information .It is helpful for me.
Very funny,here’s a few from me..when are motorcycles first mentioned in the Bible.? When Moses rode forth upon his triumph,and it must have had a faulty muffler for his triumph was heard throughout the land..the Honda car is also mentioned..all the apostles were in one Accord..the first computer mentioned..in the garden of Eden,it was a Apple,one byte everything crashed
.
Great post! Have nice day ! 🙂 bcuyh
I think God has a good sense of humor. Look! He created me!
Great post! Have nice day ! 🙂 qjubh
Here is one I heard and is instructive and funny but not original.
Why is a life without Jesus like an unsharpened pencil?
It has no point.
When I first heard the baseball joke, it ended with “and the prodigal son made a home run.”
Who was the shortest man in the Bible?
Ne hi miah
Who was the first Irishman mentioned in all the Bible? A: “Nick’Odemos.”
Who was the most influential woman in the Bible?
———-
Lot’s wife. She was the pillar of the community!
A 12 yr old relative had a cast on his leg and required assistance getting in shower and bathing. He told his mom, ” you can help me in the back, but I will bathe the front and wash my gentiles myself.”
When was soccer first mentioned in the bible,, when jesus went up for the cross
Did you know that the shepards were lovers of flowers? The bible tells us that they watched over their flox by night.
You might be interested in a book: IS THAT IN THE BIBLE? On line, you can get it used for about a dollar or two. Order two copies, so you can tear each page you want to keep before you use them. I am 82 now and had one as a teen.
some of the puns I have already sent to you ware in this book.It is a thick paperback, so really a lot of stuff in it.
This came up in a Bible Tournament – Does anyone know what Omnipresent means? I do!! It’s when someone gives you a Dodge for your Birthday!
Did you know that Radio is mentioned in the Bible? Yes in Gen 2:21&22 Out of Adam came a loudspeaker.
Some people do not believe that there will be women in Heaven. Where do they get this idea? From Revelation 8:1 – And there was silence in Heaven for about 30 minutes!
Who was the first person off the ark? Some say Noah but in my Bible it said that Noah came forth (fourth).
Here’s one I made up:
Q: When did Jesus NOT proclaim the truth in the gospels?
A: When he was lying in a manger.
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Yes, someone once said that the shortest person in the Bible is Knee-high-miah, but really, the shortest person is Bilidad the Shoe-height! Ha!
Where did Noah keep the bees 🐝 on the ark?
The archives.
In the parable of the Good Samaritan, why did the priest and the rabbi pass by the beaten up man on the road? He had already been robbed!
The first love affair in the Bible: “When Isaac took Rebekkah out into the vineyard and fed her on wine and nectar!”
1. The first baseball game in the Bible: “In the “Big Inning, God created the heavens and the earth. (That would be at the top of the 9th!)
2. The first love affair in the Bible: “When Isaac to Rebekah out into the vineyard and fed her on wine and nectar.
Q. Who was the first gospel writer?
A. Matthew because of hi MATT with the HEW men
1. The earth was created in the ninth inning of a ball game. “In the big inning.
What was the last thing Lot said to his wife before she turned into a pillar of salt?
“I think someone’s following us”
Q. What was the only sin Jesus ever committed?
A. When he was Lying in a manger!
I came up with that myself^
Jesus should be credited as the first pitcher ever because he pitched the sermon on the mound.
When the Sunday School teacher told her class the story of Lot’s wife looking back and turning into a pillar of salt, a boy in her class said, ” Something like that happened to my mother. When she was driving her car she looked back and she turned into a telephone pole.”
I resubmitted this because I had trouble with my computer and I am not sure you received my first post.
Very funny the jokes! Can I use some of them in a book I’m writing?
God bless you!
Actually, I believe the smallest man in the Bible was the Roman soldier who slept on his watch!
What name would you give to an Apostle who was on the fence regarding the Gospel ? “Luke Warm “
What character of the Bible was always tired?
Achan
What did Lot say to his wife, to get her to look back?
Is there anyone following us?
The christmas tree is mentioned in Jeramia 10:3-4.
For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.
Jeremiah 10:3-4 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/jer.10.3-4.KJV
Self defense isn’t an offense
Even in the Bible apostle Paul had EPISTLE
Who was the biggest adec in the Bible ?
Nebuchadnezzar he eat grass for 7 years
Who was the best business woman in the Old Testament?Pharaoh’s daughter, because she pulled out a little prophet when there was a rush on the banks.
I think these jokes are inappropriate. Making fun of sacred Scripture is bad taste, not a good witness, and perhaps even taking the name of the Lord in vain.
What did Josephus say back to Pilot when he, Josephus asked for the body of Jesus and Pilot says why would you want to put a criminal in your new tomb.
Answer: Ah! It’s only for the weekend.
Credit for riddle/joke goes to Chuck Smith
I just thought I would correct y’all on who is the shortest, or smallest people in the Bible. I saw some excellent answers:
Knee-high-miah
The shoe-height
and Peter because he slept on his watch
but ya gotta think deeper or farther.
It was, of course, the first human pair, Adam and Eve.
They lived in a paradise! (Pair-of dice)
However, if you want to get technical, the true answer is Eve.
She was made from an Adam! (Atom)
Ha-ha-ha
Here’s a cute one that should offend no-one:
This takes place way back in the beginning. God is creating. The angels come before Him for praise and worship. God tells them,
“Guess what I just finished doing?”
Angels: What, father? Tell us!
God: I just finished creating a 24-hour period of light and darkness on earth!
Angels: That’s wonderful father! All your works are perfect! What are you going to do now?
God stretches and says, “Oh, I’ll call it a day!”
And He did, and it was good!
(I wanted to come up with a good, clean, and funny joke.
Hope y’all like it.)
There is never a mention of an Apple in Genesis! This is people’s making it up!
You shouldn’t make a joke the bible verses. Watch and pray.
Some feel that Peter, who kept on his watch, might be the smallest man in the Bible. But I think The answer really is Bildad, the “shoe height”!!!
Abednego. Not Abendego. Not funny as much with wrong spelling… Or the correct pronunciation.
Which book of the Bible features a dead bee?
Nahum. (Nae-hum – in Scots)
Why are woman stronger then men?
Because he Hebrews
I love Bible jokes! These are some of the best I’ve ever heard.
I love Bible jokes! These are some of the best I’ve ever heard.