Archives For April 2012

coffee shop

I’ve been hard at work on the Bible study for Wonderstruck: Awaken to the Nearness of God (from Worthy Publishing and Lifeway) and diving deeper into the wonder of friendships. I’m awed by some of the amazing friends that God has provided throughout the years. But one thing I’ve noticed is that when it comes to developing thriving, long-lasting friendships, sooner or later we have to engage in The Difficult Conversation. We may need to say something or raise an issue in order to bring out the best in the other person or to make the relationship more enjoyable and healthy.

A while back a friend had to have a difficult conversation with me. We spent time together regularly taking walks, sharing meals, and enjoying each others’ company. One day announced she had something that she needed to talk about. We began by affirming our friendship and the importance of the relationship in her life. Then she shared that she had an unhealthy pattern in our friendship. While I asked lots of questions of her and she shared freely, I seemed to reserved and unwilling to share from my own life. She said she wanted me to know so the relationship could grow stronger.

In the moment, the words felt like a bee sting.

“Thank you for telling me,” I said, a bit off-balance from her words. My mind raced through our conversations during the last few times we’d hung out together. She was right! I hadn’t been sharing freely or openly, but as I thought about the reason why I had to make a confession to her.

“One of the reasons I don’t share from my own life is that you never ask anything about me-even how I’m doing,” I said.

We both sat in a thick silence as we realized the unhealthy pattern in our relationship.

“I’ll start being more intentional about asking you questions,” she said.

“And I promise to take the initiative and share even when you’re not asking a question,” I said.

From that day our relationship grew stronger than it had ever been before, and I’m so grateful she took the initiative to have the difficult conversation.

Who have you been putting off having The Difficult Conversation with lately? How is it impacting your relationship?

What advice do you have for someone who is about to sit down and have The Difficult Conversation?

 

*Photo courtesy of here

Shane Claiborne

I want to introduce you to one of my friends, Shane Claiborne. Shane is a ordinary radical who heads up an organization called The Simple Way–a web of subversive friends conspiring to spread the vision of ‘Loving God, Loving People, and Following Jesus’ in our neighborhoods and in our world. Shane is also the author of The Irresistible Revolution, Jesus for President, andThe Book of Common Prayer.

Throughout this year, I want to introduce you to some of my friends. People whose voices I know, respect, and appreciate. Their words often challenge me in my thinking and faith. I hope they’ll challenge you, too. Enjoy!

 

To all my nonbelieving, sort-of-believing, and used-to-be-believing friends: I feel like I should begin with a confession. I am sorry that so often the biggest obstacle to God has been Christians. Christians who have had so much to say with our mouths and so little to show with our lives. I am sorry that so often we have forgotten the Christ of our Christianity.

Forgive us. Forgive us for the embarrassing things we have done in the name of God.

The other night I headed into downtown Philly for a stroll with some friends from out of town. We walked down to Penn’s Landing along the river, where there are street performers, artists, musicians. We passed a great magician who did some pretty sweet tricks like pour change out of his iPhone, and then there was a preacher. He wasn’t quite as captivating as the magician. He stood on a box, yelling into a microphone, and beside him was a coffin with a fake dead body inside. He talked about how we are all going to die and go to hell if we don’t know Jesus.

Some folks snickered. Some told him to shut the hell up. A couple of teenagers tried to steal the dead body in the coffin. All I could do was think to myself, I want to jump up on a box beside him and yell at the top of my lungs, “God is not a monster.” Maybe next time I will.

The more I have read the Bible and studied the life of Jesus, the more I have become convinced that Christianity spreads best not through force but through fascination. But over the past few decades our Christianity, at least here in the United States, has become less and less fascinating. We have given the atheists less and less to disbelieve. And the sort of Christianity many of us have seen on TV and heard on the radio looks less and less like Jesus.

At one point Gandhi was asked if he was a Christian, and he said, essentially, “I sure love Jesus, but the Christians seem so unlike their Christ.” A recent study showed that the top three perceptions of Christians in the U. S. among young non-Christians are that Christians are 1) antigay, 2) judgmental, and 3) hypocritical. So what we have here is a bit of an image crisis, and much of that reputation is well deserved. That’s the ugly stuff. And that’s why I begin by saying that I’m sorry.

Now for the good news.

I want to invite you to consider that maybe the televangelists and street preachers are wrong – and that God really is love. Maybe the fruits of the Spirit really are beautiful things like peace, patience, kindness, joy, love, goodness, and not the ugly things that have come to characterize religion, or politics, for that matter. (If there is anything I have learned from liberals and conservatives, it’s that you can have great answers and still be mean… and that just as important as being right is being nice.)

The Bible that I read says that God did not send Jesus to condemn the world but to save it… it was because “God so loved the world.” That is the God I know, and I long for others to know. I did not choose to devote my life to Jesus because I was scared to death of hell or because I wanted crowns in heaven… but because he is good. For those of you who are on a sincere spiritual journey, I hope that you do not reject Christ because of Christians. We have always been a messed-up bunch, and somehow God has survived the embarrassing things we do in His name. At the core of our “Gospel” is the message that Jesus came “not [for] the healthy… but the sick.” And if you choose Jesus, may it not be simply because of a fear of hell or hope for mansions in heaven.

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in the afterlife, but too often all the church has done is promise the world that there is life after death and use it as a ticket to ignore the hells around us. I am convinced that the Christian Gospel has as much to do with this life as the next, and that the message of that Gospel is not just about going up when we die but about bringing God’s Kingdom down. It was Jesus who taught us to pray that God’s will be done “on earth as it is in heaven.” On earth.

One of Jesus’ most scandalous stories is the story of the Good Samaritan. As sentimental as we may have made it, the original story was about a man who gets beat up and left on the side of the road. A priest passes by. A Levite, the quintessential religious guy, also passes by on the other side (perhaps late for a meeting at church). And then comes the Samaritan… you can almost imagine a snicker in the Jewish crowd. Jews did not talk to Samaritans, or even walk through Samaria. But the Samaritan stops and takes care of the guy in the ditch and is lifted up as the hero of the story. I’m sure some of the listeners were ticked. According to the religious elite, Samaritans did not keep the right rules, and they did not have sound doctrine… but Jesus shows that true faith has to work itself out in a way that is Good News to the most bruised and broken person lying in the ditch.

It is so simple, but the pious forget this lesson constantly. God may indeed be evident in a priest, but God is just as likely to be at work through a Samaritan or a prostitute. In fact the Scripture is brimful of God using folks like a lying prostitute named Rahab, an adulterous king named David… at one point God even speaks to a guy named Balaam through his donkey. Some say God spoke to Balaam through his ass and has been speaking through asses ever since. So if God should choose to use us, then we should be grateful but not think too highly of ourselves. And if upon meeting someone we think God could never use, we should think again.

After all, Jesus says to the religious elite who looked down on everybody else: “The tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom ahead of you.” And we wonder what got him killed?

I have a friend in the UK who talks about “dirty theology” – that we have a God who is always using dirt to bring life and healing and redemption, a God who shows up in the most unlikely and scandalous ways. After all, the whole story begins with God reaching down from heaven, picking up some dirt, and breathing life into it. At one point, Jesus takes some mud, spits in it, and wipes it on a blind man’s eyes to heal him. (The priests and producers of anointing oil were not happy that day.)

In fact, the entire story of Jesus is about a God who did not just want to stay “out there” but who moves into the neighborhood, a neighborhood where folks said, “Nothing good could come.” It is this Jesus who was accused of being a glutton and drunkard and rabble-rouser for hanging out with all of society’s rejects, and who died on the imperial cross of Rome reserved for bandits and failed messiahs. This is why the triumph over the cross was a triumph over everything ugly we do to ourselves and to others. It is the final promise that love wins.

It is this Jesus who was born in a stank manger in the middle of a genocide. That is the God that we are just as likely to find in the streets as in the sanctuary, who can redeem revolutionaries and tax collectors, the oppressed and the oppressors… a God who is saving some of us from the ghettos of poverty, and some of us from the ghettos of wealth.

In closing, to those who have closed the door on religion – I was recently asked by a non-Christian friend if I thought he was going to hell. I said, “I hope not. It will be hard to enjoy heaven without you.” If those of us who believe in God do not believe God’s grace is big enough to save the whole world… well, we should at least pray that it is.

Your brother,

Shane

To learn more about The Simple Way, click here. To follow Shane on Twitter, click here: @ShaneClaiborne. To check out Shane’s books, click here: The Irresistible Revolution, Jesus for President, andThe Book of Common Prayer.

***This article first appeared in Esquire, here.

friends

Friendship is one of the most incredible gifts God gives us.

I’m reminded of that whenever I get to spend an afternoon hiking with a dear friend, sitting on the couch chatting for hours, or hanging out and laughing until tears run down my cheeks.

Good friends expose us to new ideas and experiences.

Good friends love us as we are and love us enough not to leave us there.

Good friends make life sweeter, richer, and more delightful.

This week I’m working on the lesson in the (tentative title) Wonderstruck: Recapturing the Joy, Awe, & Marvel That Comes With Being a Child of God Bible study on the wonder of friendships. I’d love for you to weigh in on the following questions (you can pick and choose, mix n’ match):

What do you love most about your closest friends? When was the last time you told them what you love about them?

What one Bible passage has shaped the way you understand friendships the most?

What have you learned the hard way about becoming a better friend to others?

Can’t wait to hear your stories, ideas, and thoughts!

 

*Photo courtesy of here

 

MarvinUMC

These wonderful women are from Marvin United Methodist Church, where I recently spoke in Tyler, Texas. They call their Bible Study group the “Soul Sisters,” and these faithful sisters gathered together to pursue God’s beauty. Julie Love Brown sent in this picture during their last session together. I even had the pleasure of Skyping with them! What a joy to see their radiant faces :)

We want to hear from YOU. Snap a photo of your group and send it to Jessica(at)margaretfeinberg(dot)com and we’ll post the picture on the site!

Check out the study these Soul Sisters completed, Pursuing God’s Beauty, here

beauty_final2

We want to introduce you to several DVD Bible studies that small groups, Bible studies, Sunday school classes, book clubs, and other groups around the country have been using to grow in their faith, knowledge of the Bible, and love of God.

Wonderstruck 7-Session DVD Bible Study invites participants to become more aware of God’s presence in their lives, recognize what’s holding them back in their prayer, be encouraged to go deeper in their friendships, and challenged to walk deeper levels of forgiveness, grace and joy.

The Organic God 6-Session Bible Study examines the attributes of God including His kindness, generosity, bigheartedness, beauty, and mystery.

The Sacred Echo 6-Session Bible Study challenges participants to grow in their prayer life and learn to hear God’s voice through the Scriptures.

Scouting the Divine 6-Session Bible Study looks at agrarian themes in Scripture including sheep/shepherds, farming, bees/honey, and grape growing bringing familiar passages to life.

Pursuing God’s Beauty: Stories from the Gospel of John  6-Session DVD Bible Study explores the entire Gospel of John and what it means to celebrate and radiate the beauty of Christ in your own life.

Pursuing God’s Love: Stories from the Book of Genesis 6-Session DVD Bible Study takes participants through the entire book of Genesis and explores the unflinching love of our Creator.

All of these studies are designed to be “All-Play” meaning that if someone doesn’t get to the homework, they can still dive into the group time. No one needs to feel left out! But of course, those who dive into the homework and reading will always get more out of the study.

Each of these studies are also created to bring people together. The questions are designed to take people deeper into the Scripture, but also create a safe place where people can share their stories and lives together as followers of Jesus.

While some groups decide to take their group through the following studies using just the workbook, we have found that participants get the most out of the study when they use it in unison with the book. We want to make this as affordable as possible, so we’ve created great discounts (up to 40%) when you purchase the book and workbook combination. Click here to see these great deals.

On the DVD sampler page, you’ll find a sample video lesson, as well as a PDF sample workbook lesson from each study. We would love to hear what you think, pray for your church and ministry, connect with you to let you know more about the products, answer any questions, and give you a heads up for any specials we’re offering.

If you are looking for a Bible study for your church or small group, email jessica@margaretfeinberg.com and we’ll give you access to the complimentary DVD Sampler from Margaret Feinberg.